My Life, In All it's Shit and Glory.

Life just isn't fair. I got the results from my French reading and listening mocks; I got a B in reading and an A in my listening, which I'm really pretty amazed about. I'm really loving French at the minute but unfortunately I'm missing lesson this week because of an all-day drama exam. Plus I have to have a week off school in December, but I may not get back in time to do my French speaking exam, so my grade is probably going to be lower than it could have been otherwise. I hate speaking exams. I'd rather be stuck in a tank of snakes for half an hour than do another speaking exam, but I really really want to pass French with a decent grade, if not an actual good grade. I have the opertunity. I have the ability, I'm sure. I finally have a positive mental attitude and a belief that I can do it thanks to the restults from my mocks, and I have a teacher who both motivates us into working hard and who will actually probably give me any extra help I might need to pass. Unfortunately an opertunity to raise my grade is possibly being thrown away because the operation and the recovery week clashes with the exam and preparation. There's always the time in February to catch up, but I wanted to use that to improve my writing. I might have to ask for catch up sessions in order to get it all done. I think that would be a good idea for me anyway. It seems like a good way to make me learn, and I can't really complain about the teacher, comsidering he's one of the best teachers in school. To be perfectly honest, he seems to be putting so much effort into helping us to pass, I really really don't want to let him down. Even if he doesn't really care as much as he appears to, I'd still feel like I was failing him.
Okay, I admit, me actually failing isn't too likely, but although I'm getting A and B in listening and reading, my speaking and writing grades could bring me down a lot, mostly my speaking. It's nerves, as I'm sure the post entitled "The Truth About the French Speaking Exam" highlighted. I just can't do speaking exams. I mispronounce everything and I can't form coherent sentences. That's what I'm afraid will bring my grade down to something that barely scrapes a pass. What us the point in knowing the french (to a basic extent) if I'm not able to put it to any use? The best I can hope for is that I improve my ability to speak before the catch up exam, which I'm now going to have to use for speaking. I'd rather get the speaking over with, although if I did do the speaking next month and did terribly, I would of course use the catch up exam for speaking as well.

I know this might have seen like a bit of an over-reaction post, but this seems like a huge issue to me. I know that I don't have my priorities wrong, because despite what I do wrong in other subjects, I'm less likely to pass French than any other subject unless I do some serious work on it because it is without a doubt the most dificult subject I've taken. Speaking of which, I have an all-day drama exam tomorrow. Mostly writing and evaluation, so not fun.