Exercise Will Kill You

Please don't make me go back to the gym again. I have several issues with it, which I will now describe in far too much detail, in order of which I discovered them.

There was a distinct lack of busses and bus stops around the Keepmoat, and the busses we did catch were packed beyond measure. At one point I considered that staying upright on the moving bus was part of the exercising experience. My next point was the bus stop was ridiculously far away from the entrance. It took three minutes of fast walking to get from the bus stop to the entrance and I was out of breath already by that point. In the changing rooms, the lockers are operated by pound coins which they expect you to supply. You get your pound back again anyway so what's the point? What if I had a pound coin but I had to use it for bus fare? I'd be stuck and my locker would be left open. Then they advise you to tie your hair up so I borrowed a bobble from a friend, but due to my uncooperative hair, I looked like a complete and utter pollock as usual. Then they made me fill out a form, half of the answers I didn't know to a well enough extent for them to be useful. We then split into two groups of eight to go in different rooms. I've always wanted a go on a treadmill, but they're not all they're cracked up to be. I don't like running so I ended up feeling stupid speed-walking between several people who were running at full speed. When my half-mile was up, I got motion sickness and walked dizzily to the exercise bikes. The exercise bikes had adjustable seats that I couldn't adjust by myself, making me feel pathetic and yet entertained by my weakness. I then biked for another two miles or so, and by the time I got off my legs were stiff and burning like mad. There was a far too brief break, during which all sixteen of us plus several trainers gathered around one water cooler. The water was stale, but we drank it anyway.
The second half was even worse. The warm-up alone had me feeling dizzy again, and then we started with the weights and the lunges and the oh my god. I thought my arms were going to drop off. Twenty minutes of that later and we returned to the usual gym for two mintes. We tried out a strange machine which felt a bit like rollerblading, just safer and eaisier. I burned 30 calories on that one. That's less than one kitkat finger.
By the end, we staggered exhausted back to the changing room to discover that we had 6 minutes to catch a bus or wait over half an hour in the freezing cold. We gave up on the idea of hurting up and opted for normal speed, until we got outside and saw the bus halfway down the road, so we did a bit of traffic dodging and ran. Of course we couldn't get a seat on the bus; the school of chavs that got on before us took all of the remaining seats. Leaving us stood far too close for comfort.
I didn't necessarily hate the days experience, I'd just compare it to an hour in hell.
Night.