Speaking

I'm not looking forward to my speaking exam at all. A writing exam I could do quite easily, but not speaking. I don't know what's the matter with me, but on the subject of French exams, I just can't do speaking exams. It's not that I don't want to - I want nothing more right now than to actually do a speaking exam and for it to go well. Unfortunately that is never going to happen. I can learn the material with relative ease, and I could write it with minimal stress. But sit me down with a voice recorder in front of me and tell me to speak and you won't get a word out of me. I'll try my hardest because this isn't stubborness, and it's not shyness. It's just that when I sit in that room, any room or any situation, I physically can't. Tell me to write it instead and I'll have no problem, and I reckon that I could get a pretty decent grade from that. I just can't speak it. I can do it minimally in practice, although it still isn't easy, but when I have to do it right, my throat goes dry, my head feels heavy and my mind goes blank.
I've been told to do speaking because it's the largest area I could improve in, and that's all very well and good, but it's not that simple. I know that I can't do speakings - I've tried numerous times and I just seem to be getting worse at it. Say that I've been getting E's on my speaking and C's on my writing. Sure, logically I have the potential to improve my grade massively, but I'm not going to. I've tried the positive attitude and stuff, but let's face facts, when it comes to speaking, I stink. It's my kryptonite. Exams in general I'm fine with. I hardly ever get stage fright. I'm awesome. But speaking exams take away my cool. Putting me in for another speaking is like telling Superman to go and bathe in kryptonite. He'd be much better off in water, just as I'd be much better off doing writing.
Say that I do speaking and don't improve my grade at all, which is the most likely outcome without a doubt. My overall grade doesn't change. But then say that I do writing instead. I'm more comfortable here. I can do this. I improve my grade by a few marks. It's not much but it's a lot more of an improvement than I'd get if I did the speaking exam.
Furthermore, I can barely speak English at the minute, nevermind French.
I give up. Goodnight.