I don't think I can.

Okay, so here's the deal: I am terrible at physics. I should not have taken it as an AS level subject, because while I understand the classwork, none of it ever sticks in my head long enough for it to be useful, and so when it comes to tests or homework, I fail miserably. After one term, I'm on an E. Bottom of the class, I suspect.
And with this knowledge so began my day of crappiness.
I woke up this morning without my voice. Speaking was necessary, however, so I persevered and it all just came out squeaky, and took my mini whiteboard to school just in case. By the time I got to school, it had gotten worse. MUCH worse, in fact, but I just chose nite to speak at all for a while, which came as a bit of a problem when I had to talk to my form tutor. By first period I had deemed myself mute, especially since attempting to sing the YMCA to my photography class caused a lot of laughter. I couldn't tell if they were laughing at my witty outburst or my voice.
Physics next, and a test. I asked the girl next to me to ask for a calculator for me, which she did, but my comedian physics teacher gavee a quizzical look, so I explained, "I've lost my voice," but he was laughing by "lost" and so there was no hope of him being mature about this. Which I was fine with. But then horror struck with an unexpected test! His advice was for everyone to draw a face on the cover to show how confident everyone was feeling before and after the test. I did a before, during and after. The before was screaming. During was almost crying, and the after was unconscious. Not quite accurate. At the start he came and sat in front of me, facing me, asking if I was alright. I wasn't, not at all, but people watching me work makes me uncomfortable so I said yes and carried on, mostly painfully. It was actually quite nice to not have to speak for 45 minutes. After the test, of which I completed a tiny amount, I began to lose all hope in me passing the subject. Even now I don't think it's looking good. As mine was the last paper he collected, I didn't hand it to him. I held it in my hand and asked for him to throw it away, not mark it, because the grade would only depress me. He took it from me, said he would mark it, then flicked through. As he flicked, I spoke with my pathetic little voice. "I actually spent a large portion of that test debating whether or not I should give up physics all together." I get the feeling he was masking some form of expression he didn't want to see as he handed it back to me and asked me to take it home.
By this point, and I'm not sure why, I had tears beginning to form. Blinked them away. He moved, putting the other papers down, and told me to come here. Admittedly my first thought was that it sounded like he was going to hug me, but of course not. I sat down, and he reclaimed the spot he'd taken at the start of the test, when he'd asked me if I was okay. Well no, I am definitely not okay now. Then came that classic question; "what are you finding difficult?" Exams, sir. I can't do them. I'm fine in lesson, but the tests? No. Not compatible. My mind goes blank and I can't concentrate, it's like reading through whitenoise.
More stuff was said, and he suggested again that I take the test home, have another go with my revision guide and textbook to hand, see if it helps. I'm a little doubtful, but I'm not a pessimist.
There was more encouraging talk, telling me that I can do this. It was around this point that I thought "hey that's nice, he actually sounds like he believes I can do this," which I'm not sure if he did on purpose. Either way, I told him that either way, I was tempted to quit but I'm not going to. I do not give up on things. "Good," he said. "Bring the test back on Tuesday and I'll go through it with you."
So I'm still not feeling confident. Nit at all. But I'll give it a go, and maybe, just maybe, I might come out on top.

I'm sorry, but it's another questions thing.

Questions

• 1: What eye colour do you find sexiest?
• It's an eye colour.. I don't know. 
• 2: White, milk, or dark chocolate mocha?
• Milk. 
• 3: If you could get a Sharpie tattoo on your back, what would it be?
• A smiley face. 
• 4: Did you grow up in a small or big town? Did you like it?
• Mediumish, I guess. It's not bad. 
• 5: Your favorite adult as a child? (and not your parents, if they were your favorite)
• Probably all of my grandparents, I can't choose just one.
• 6: What kind of smoothie sounds really good right now?
• Something with kiwi in it. 
• 7: Most embarrassing moment from your elementary school years?
• Is elementary like really young? I dunno, I'll call in infant school, and I don't have any embarrassing memories from that young.
• 8: Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years?
• We'll call this primary school. I dida  terrible comedy sketch in front of the whole school which wasn't funny at all and lasted ten seconds. I walked off stage in embarrassment, then immediately back on because I forgot my participation chocolate bar.
• 9: Most embarrassing moment from your high school years?
• I've said some very stupid things in the past few years, totallying up to some embarrassing (but hilarious) moments. 
• 10: Pirates or ninjas? Why?
• Pirates because swords are cool. 
• 11: Have you ever climbed a tree more than twenty feet off the ground?
• I've never climbed a tree more than six feet off the ground.
• 12: Did you like swinging as a child? Do you still get excited when you see a swing set?
• I did. My auntie had to teach me how to swing when I was little, and I loved it. 
• 13: If you could have any pet in the world, illegal or not, what would you get?
• Right now I really want a kitten. Boring, aren't I?
• 14: What's your most favorite part of your body?
• I'm very fond of my right big toe. 
• 15: What's your most favorite part of your personality?
• My open mind. 
• 16: Madonna or Lady Gaga? Neither? Both? Who cares?
• Neither. 
• 17: Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through?
• I'm still a little unsure what the Superbowl is. 
• 18: Have you ever watched any major sporting event drunk?
• I have never watched a major sporting event.
• 19: What's the most delicious food you've ever eaten in your life?
• I've had a lot of good food.
• 20: Margarine or butter? Which did you grow up with?
• Interesting fact: technically you cannot buy margarine in UK supermarkets. It is all butter, but sold under the name margarine because they can. 
• 21: Whole, skim, 1%, or 2% milk? (Did you know they make 1 1/2% milk?) 
• Semi-skimmed.
• 22: Which continents have you been on?
• Europe, Asia (I think) and Australia.
• 23: Do you get motion sickness? Any horror stories?
• Nope.
• 24: Backpacks or satchels?
• Backpacks distribute weight better to avoid aching shoulders, but satchels are more convenient.
• 25: Would you wear a rainbow jacket? A neon yellow sweater? Checkered pants?
• HELL YES. 
• 26: What was your favorite cartoon growing up?
• The Simpsons, of course.
• 27: If you had to have a cow or a pig, which would you take? Why?
• Pigs are cuter.
• 28: If you had to look at one city skyline for the rest of your life, which would it be?
• New York, but I don't want to live there.
• 29: Longest plane ride you've ever been on?
• To Australia, so basically the longest plane journey you can get, 24 hours.
• 30: The latest you've ever slept?
• All day. 
• 31: Would you buy a sweater covered in kitten pictures? Would you wear it if someone gave it you for free?
• I wouldn't buy it, no. I may wear it. 
• 32: Do you pick at scabs?
• Obsessively, and then I hate myself for it. 
• 33: Favorite kind of bean? Kidney? Black? Pinto?
• Green.
• 34: How far can you throw a baseball?
• Not far. 
• 35: If you had to move to another country, where would you move?
• Australia. 
• 36: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Vietnamese? Korean? Nepalese? How was it?
• No but I want to. 
• 37: Small, liberal arts school or public university? Why?
• I'm unsure of the difference. 
• 38: A relationship with love or one with sex?
• Love, always. 
• 39: Do you eat enough vegetables?
• Probably not. 
• 40: Do you like horror movies? How about thrillers?
• Thrillers, but gore and jumpiness make me uneasy. 
• 41: Would you scratch a crotch itch in public?
• Discreetly. 
• 42: Do you swear in front of your parents?
• Mum, yes. Dad, never.
• 43: Coolest thing you've ever been for Halloween?
• A creepy person who follows teenagers down the street. 
• 44: If you could change your natural hair color, would you? To what?
• Nope.
• 45: Do you want to get married? Have kids?
• Probably. 
• 46: Do you use a reusable water bottle? If not, you should.
• I reuse disposable ones. 
• 47: City or nature person?
• I like cities sometimes, but there's nothing like being out in the open. I'm definitely an outdoors kind of person, I need to get away sometimes. Now would be good. I grew up with the nature. 
• 48: Have you ever used something other than "makeup" as makeup? (Like paint? Markers?)
• Does face paint count?
• 49: Can you walk well in high heels? Even if you're a guy?
• Reasonably well, in some but not all. 
• 50: Post 5 awesome things about yourself. BRAG AWAY!
• Oh no. 

This should be interesting.

1. Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?
I have one, thanks.

2. When did your last hug take place?
I hugged my dad a couple of minutes ago.

3. Are you a jealous person?
Nope. 

4. Are you tired right now?
Yep.

5. Do you chew on straws?
Occasionally. 

6. Have you been called a tease?
Heheh. Yeah. 

7. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Nope. 

8. Do you cry easily?
Generally no. But sometimes yeah. 

9. What should you be doing now?
Sleeping.

10. Are you a heavy sleeper?
Yes.

11. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?
Almost there, so yeah, I'd say so. 

12. Are you mad at someone right now?
Nope. 

13. Do you believe in love?
Oh yes ^_^ 

14. What makes you laugh no matter what?
F.R.I.E.N.D.S

15. Who was the last person you talked to?
My dad. 

16. Do you get butterflies around the person you like?
A little bit, still. 

17. Will you get married?
Most likely. 

18. When was the last time you smiled?
A few minutes ago. 

19. Does anyone like you?
I hope so. 

20. Do you secretly like anyone right now?
It's definitely not a secret. 

21. Who was the first person you talked to today?
My mum.

22. Who do you feel most comfortable talking about anything with?
Oh that could be any number of people. 

23. What are you NOT looking forward to?
Sunday. 

24. What ARE you looking forward to?
Tomorrow. 

25. Has someone of the preferred sex ever told you they loved you and meant it?
Well I hope he means it. So yes, I'd say so. 

26. Suppose you saw your ex kissing someone else, what would you do?
Hah I don't have an ex. 

27. Do you plan on moving out within the next year?
Nope. 

28. Are you a forgiving person?
Generally. 

29. How many TRUE friends do you have?
By my count... 10?

30. Do you fall for people easily?
Nah, it takes somebody special. 

31. Have you ever fallen for your ex's best friend?
Nope. No ex.

32. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
Water. 

33. Who was the last person you drove with?
I have no clue. 

34. How late did you stay up last night, and doing what?
Approx. 9:30, because I was ill. 

35. If you could move anywhere in the world, would you?
Probably not, no. 

36. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
I can't remember. 

37. Can you live a day without the TV?
I live most days without TV. 

38. When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
Last week, I reckon.

39. Three names you go by:

I can't think of any interesting ones so no. 

40. Are you currently in a relationship?
Yep ^_^

41. What is your all-time-favourite romance movie?
Hmmm... Is 'Avengers' a romance movie? 

42. Do you believe that everyone has a soulmate?
I hope so. 

43. What's your current problem?

I have a cold. 

44. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Nope. 

45. Your thoughts of long-distance relationships?
Difficult, they can take a lot of work, but if you're both willing to make it work and you both trust one another, there's no reason why it won't work. 

46. How many kids do you want in the future?

I hate this question. 

47. Have you ever found it really hard to tell someone you like them?
Oh yes. So very hard. It took me a ridiculous amount of time. But I did it, and it worked.

48. Can you touch your toes?
Nope.

49. What are you wearing right now?
Jamas. 

50. Do you have a job? What do you do?

*Sigh* I need a job. 

Hello Procrastination!

1. Last person who hugged you: George
2. Last person who phone-called you: Mum
3. Last person who sent you a text and what did it say: Not saying.

4. Last song you heard: Break In by Halestorm
5. Last time you cried: I can't remember.

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: Nope.
7. Been cheated on: Nope.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Nope.
9. Lost someone special: Yeah.
10. Been depressed: Nope.
11. Pulled all-nighter: Unfortunately not.

LIST THREE FAVOURITE COLOURS:
12. Green
13: Purple
14: RAINBOW.

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made a new friend: Yep
16. Fallen out of love: Nope
17. Laughed until you cried: So many times.
18. Met someone who changed you: Probably not..
19. Found out who your true friends were: I already knew.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Most likely.
21. Gone on holiday: Oui.

YOUR LIFE.
22.How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Most of them, even if I rarely or never speak to them.
23. How many kids do you want: I don't know.
24. Do you have any pets: I wish.
25. Do you want to change your name: Nah, I've survived this long.
26. What did you do for your last Birthday: Absolutely nothing.
27. What time did you wake up today: 7ish -_-
28. What were you doing at midnight last Saturday: On Tumblr, I think.
29. Name something you cannot wait for: Thursday.
30. Last time you saw your mother: About 15 minutes ago.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wish I was better at school stuff.
32. What are you listening to right now: MY dad talking downstairs.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yep.
34. Who's getting on your nerves right now: Nobody.
35. Most visited webpage: Youtube.
36. What's your real name: That's a little personal.
37. Nicknames: Ugh, let's not go down that road.
38. Relationship Status: Taken ^_^
40. Male or female: Female.
41. Pale or tanned? Pale.
42. Facebook or Twitter? Twitter.
43. iPod or phone? Phone.
44. Write w/e you want here: Chicken smash.
45. Weight (if you're comfortable in saying): I have no idea.
46. Height: 5'4" maybe?
47. Do you have a crush on someone: My boyfriend, if that counts.
48. What do you like about yourself: Bitch got style ;)
49. Piercings: Ears. I fainted.
50. Tattoos: Nope. I'd faint.
51. Righty or lefty: Righty!

FIRSTS:
53. First piercing: Ears. As I previously stated, I fainted.
54. First best friend: Siobhan. Nursery until year 6.
55. First sport you joined: Football!! I'm terrible.
56. First vacation: Cornwall when I was really little.

RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating: Bits of potato from around my teeth.
60. Drinking: Nothing

61. I'm about to: Keep typing.
62. Listening to: Silence.
63. Waiting for: Me to get bored of procrastinating.

YOUR FUTURE:
64. Want kids: I dunno.
65. Get married: Sure..
66. Career: Not a clue. 

Wow, I have such a clear future. 

WHICH IS BETTER IN THE PREFERRED SEX:
67. Lips or eyes: Eyes. 
68. Hugs or kisses: BOTH. 
69. Shorter or taller: Taller. 
70. Older or Younger: Older. 
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Either. 
72. Shy or confident: A bit of both. 
73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive. 
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship, of course. 

HAVE YOU EVER:
76. Kissed a stranger: No. 
77. Stole something for someone: Yeah, but she then gave it to me. 
78. Lost glasses/contacts: Shit, where are my glasses?
79. hurt yourself: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH yes. 
80. Broken someone's heart: No. 
82. Been arrested: Sure, many times... 
83. Turned someone down: Probably
84. Cried when someone died: Mhmm...

85. fallen for a friend: Yeah ^_^

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: I guess I have to, so yeah. 
87. Miracles: Suppose so. 
88. Love at first sight: Possibly, as cheesy as it sounds. 
89. Heaven: I hope so. 
90. Santa Clause: Hell yeah ;) 
91. Kiss on the first date: Yep. 
92. Angels: Hmm...

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 boyfriend/girlfriend at a time: LOL no. 
95. Did you sing today: Yep. 
96. First person in your contacts: IDK some random person on facebook. 
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? I wouldn't. 
98. The moment you would choose: Nope. 
99. Are you afraid of falling in love: Of course not :) 
100. Are you afraid of death: Only a stupid person doesn't hold at least a little fear. 

Reading again...

After really not enjoying Fallen at all, I've moved Torment to the bottom of my priorities list, since I have no intention of reading it. Instead, I've added The Fellowship Of The Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien to the top of my list, since I've already started it. The rest of the books in that series will be added to the list when I've finished Fellowship, since I clearly misjudged Fallen and don't want to add books unnecessarily.


Books I've read this year so far:

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
The Name of the Star by Maureen Johnson
The Abused Werewolf Rescue Group by Catherine Jinks
The Bermudez Triangle by Maureen Johnson
Let it Snow by Maureen Johnson, John Green and Lauren Myracle
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
Will Grayson Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan
Looking For Alaska by John Green**
An Abundance of Katherines by John Green**
Paper Towns by John Green**
13 Little Blue Envelopes by Maureen Johnson
The Last Little Blue Envelope by Maureen Johnson
Summer Fling by Sarah Morgan
Fallen by Lauren Kate
** - Books read around Christmas and New Year that I can't remember if I read this year or the very end of last year but I'm counting anyway just in case.

Books I've bought and intend to read soon:
(In order of priority)

The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Dracula by Bram Stoker
Birth of a Killer by Darren Shan
Click by Bill Tancer***
Moab is my Washpot by Stephen Fry***
Nudge by Thaler and Sunstien***
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
Far From the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy
Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
Once in a House on Fire by Andrea Ashworth
Jane Slayre by Charlotte Bronte and Sherri Browning Erwin
Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson
Thud by Terry Pratchett
Hogfather by Terry Pratchett

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Star Trek: Vanguard by David Mack
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine by Una McCormack
Rupture by Simon Lelic
Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
Torment by Lauren Kate
*** - Books I've started but not yet finished due to the distraction of other books.

Fallen by Lauren kate

This took me far too long to read. FAR too long. I bought this at the recommendation of a friend, and I honestly can't say I'm terribly anxious to move onto the second in the series, which is currently on my bookcase. It's quite obviously a book for young teenagers, perhaps nobody over the age of 14 and definitely no boys should read it - far too many hormones of a stressed teenage girl. As I said, it took me a while to read this, so please excuse any inaccuracies about the early chapters of the book, because I really don't want to go back and read them again.

BLURB: SOME ANGELS ARE DESTINED TO FALL. Instant. Intense. Weirdly familiar... The moment Luce looks at Daniel she knows she has never felt like this before. Except she can't shake the  feeling that she has... and with him - a boy she doesn't even remember setting eyes on. Will her attempt to find out why enlighten her - or destroy her? Dangerously exciting and darkly romantic, Fallen is a thrilling story about forbidden love.

Okay, lets start off by pointing out the pathetic (and wrong) statements in the blurb. Working backwards, it is not "dangerously exciting". Dangerous, I'll give you, but only because the main character, Luce, does some pretty stupid things, like getting into a car alone when she has absolutely no idea where it's going or who's driving, just because some boy she barely knows asks her to. It's not a romance. I can see why some people might think so, but it's a poor excuse for romance when all it is, is a boy with a crush on the main character, who is in love with some other boy who seems dark and dangerous, but who won't talk to her. Sound familiar? Because to me it sounds oddly like Twilight. I'm not implying that either of the authors copied one another, and I can be bothered to check which was published first so I can even begin to form an argument for that point, when my actual point is that this pattern of a love triangle is becoming ridiculously over used.

The entire book is a slow and painful build up to the climax. Everything that happens could have happened with a lot less detail and in a lot less time, and I think we all would have been much happier if it had. A few hints at the ending are more than hints, they're just obviously pointing out things as well as the opening line to the blurb. I wouldn't complain, but other than about one time, angels aren't even mentioned. It's like the author has seen the technique of using foreshadowing and thought "oh, as long as I mention angels once or twice, it'll be fine," but no, sorry, but that doesn't work. Although it was still painfully obvious what Daniel was, you completely failed at foreshadowing. It wasn't even building up to anything good. A lot of characters went through major unprovoked character changes at the drop of a hat, and hardly anything is explained. I expect it all to be explained fully in the sequel, but to be quite honest I can't see myself reading it. This book did nothing to engage me. One of the signs of a good book is that you don't want to put it down, but I didn't really want to pick this book up at all after the first few chapters.

Not a good book. Decent to some extent, but nothing special. I shall not pick it up again. I'll rate this as one and a half stars, or 3 out of ten, because I really can't remember how I started rating these.

Yesterday: It's okay to make mistakes

So today I made a fool of myself. And it’s okay.

I wanted to audition for my school musical, Our House (based on Madness songs), even though a lot of my year is going to be taken up with course work and Saturday Theatre and my boyfriend, so I’m not going to have a lot of time to learn even more lines and stuff, but I decided to go for it anyway. I didn’t intend to get a part, and even if I did, I could just give it up anyway.

So I went to the audition. Split into three groups, one for each section to rotate, we went off to do dance first. Before today, I was completely aware of the fact that I cannot dance, and avoided it where possible. Now, I am completely aware that me dancing should be something that never happens, or else the world will implode because oh got I’m just so terrible. I have the coordination of a baby giraffe with one leg, and the ability to forget the dance moves as soon as I have to stand up in front of people. Then, when faced with the prospect of spontaneously improvising two bars of dance, the best thing I could think to do was the macarena, and I couldn’t even do that right. I was truly laughable, so I did. At least it was fun.

Next up, group singing. This has always been difficult for me because like a lot of people, the sound of other people’s voices distracts me to no end. However, I persevered, and went on singing, and quite enjoyed it. Not too bad.

Acting. The drama department had devised a terrible way of sorting this out, but what can you do? We were sorted into groups of about eight, and told that we had five minutes (like literally five minutes, just 300 seconds) to improvise a scene that showed a decision that had to be made. I won’t go into details about what we did, but it was pretty damn terrible, and about 30 seconds long. How they managed too see anybody’s skills as an actor from that, I’ll never know.

That was it for most people, who then went home, but a brave few (I say a few, but it was about 25 of us) decided to stay for the solo auditions. The process of this was everybody would come to the front of the room in front of ten teachers, and sing a verse and a chorus of It Must Be Love. I went up sooner than I thought I would, considering how nervous I suddenly was. I knew when to come in, knew the backing track very well, but faced under the pressure, I started out of key, and asked to try again. On the second attempt, I came in at the wrong point. I just want to point out that I KNOW WHERE TO COME IN. Play it for me now and I’ll tell you the exact point, but for some reason I have no idea what, I missed it, then came in too early. My voice was pathetic, and it was just so ugh.

The judging teachers included BOTH of my theatre studies teachers, my physics teacher, two dance teachers, at least one music teacher, and a few others I have no idea what they were. It’s the first three I’m worried about. They now know how bad I am at these things, which won’t bode well for me in the long run when it comes to casting other things. Also, I quite liked my Physics teacher. I say liked, because I’ll probably be unbearably embarrassed next time I see him. He’s awesome though. He smiled and gave me a thumbs up as I left the room about ten minutes later, which was nice. I can’t remember my response. I think I frowned at him, if anything, since I was picking up a lot of stuff at the time and was focusing on getting out of that room as fast as possible. I’ll apologize for that tomorrow. Still, I don’t quite understand what the thumbs up was for - he only gave out that one I saw, and I clearly didn’t do well. Maybe it was a “relax, you’re fine” kind of thing? I don’t know. Still, it worked. But I’ll ask about it. Then there was my classmates, who already thought I was strange, and now that was horribly embarrassing too.

So all in all, I made a fool of myself. I feel like shit, but at least I tried. All I did was prove to myself that sometimes I’m shit. Shit happens, and it’s okay. I’ve just got to move on.

1000 Vlogbrothers Videos - Thanks For Vastly Improving My Life

I honestly cannot thank you enough for everything you've done, even the things you may not have realized you've done. You've made my life 100000000% better in the past year that I have been a nerdfighter. In that time I have converted at least 10 people to Nerdfighteria, which I think you'll agree is proof that the awesomeness is still spreading, 1000 videos later.

To John: Your books are not only super entertaining and fantastic to read, but inspirational too. Never before was my desire to write so intense until I read your books. Your 'Thoughts From Places' videos are a perfect example of your incredible way with words, when I don't have time to re-read one of your novels with the attention they deserve. Also, Henry and Willy are adorable, so thank you for showing us their intense cuteness.

To Hank: Your songs never fail to cheer me up. Making music makes you happy, and the music you make makes thousands of others happy too, so it's win win. Strange Charm recently gave me a boost in my Physics class I started last week, a class I wouldn't have taken had it not been for your videos, and I would have probably quit fairly soon, had my teacher not asked if anyone knew what a quark is. I feel like I should mention The Katherine here too, since she's also incredibly awesome.

To both of you: John, your repeated advice of "USE YOUR WORDS" is something I have relayed to other people countless times, and the one time I actually took that advice myself, I wound up in a beautiful relationship with a sweet nerdy boy I'd been best friends with for a year and a half.  Of course I never would have done that had it not been for Hank's video 'How to Get Out of the Friend Zone' which spurred me into action. I'll never be able to thank you enough for what you unknowingly convinced me to do - to make the best decision of my life so far and USE MY WORDS.

And finally, to Nerdfighteria: Without all of us, none of us would be here. We made this possible. Nerdfighteria gave me the confidence to shout out unashamedly to the world that I am who I am, who I want to be, and I, like many of you, am a nerd. We're here together, being awesome all at the same time, from all areas of the world. Every single one of us has a different life, a different lifestyle, different goals. But we all have the same potential. Because regardless of geographical position, financial stability, lifestyle or anything else, we all have and are fulfilling our unlimited potential to be awesome.

Update on the Reading Challenge Thing

Right, so I haven't finished a book in a while. I finished Summer fling while on holiday, and I haven't finished a book since. *Ashamed face.* Anyway, I've read 15 books in total, over 33 weeks.. There are 19 weeks left in the year, and I have to read 35 books, meaning I'll have to read about 3 books per week just to make sure I don't fail.

Books I've read this year so far:

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
The Name of the Star by Maureen Johnson
The Abused Werewolf Rescue Group by Catherine Jinks
The Bermudez Triangle by Maureen Johnson
Let it Snow by Maureen Johnson, John Green and Lauren Myracle
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
Will Grayson Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan
Looking For Alaska by John Green**
An Abundance of Katherines by John Green**
Paper Towns by John Green**
13 Little Blue Envelopes by Maureen Johnson
The Last Little Blue Envelope by Maureen Johnson
Summer Fling by Sarah Morgan
** - Books read around Christmas and New Year that I can't remember if I read this year or the very end of last year but I'm counting anyway just in case.

Books I've bought and intend to read soon:
(In order of priority)


Fallen by Lauren Kate***
Torment by Lauren Kate

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Dracula by Bram Stoker
Birth of a Killer by Darren Shan
Click by Bill Tancer***
Moab is my Washpot by Stephen Fry***
Nudge by Thaler and Sunstien***
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
Far From the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy
Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
Once in a House on Fire by Andrea Ashworth
Jane Slayre by Charlotte Bronte and Sherri Browning Erwin
Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson
Thud by Terry Pratchett
Hogfather by Terry Pratchett

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Star Trek: Vanguard by David Mack
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine by Una McCormack
Rupture by Simon Lelic
Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
*** - Books I've started but not yet finished due to the distraction of other books.

Summer Fling by Sarah Morgan

One of the key things about Summer Fling is that it is split into two shorter books. Except its not, because the second one sort of leads on from the other, in the sense that it's the same characters, but another character takes the lead role.

Both parts of the novel take part on Glenmore island, a remote Scottish island with a tight-knit community where everybody knows everybody and everybody's business. The four main focus characters are Logan, a doctor and widowed single father to his year old daughter Kirsty, his sister/nurse Kyla, her best friend and also a nurse, Evanna, and Ethan, a doctor who moves to the island at the beginning of the first book.

The first book starts from the point of view of Ethan as he steps off the ferry onto Glemore island for the first time. We know nothing about him, other than that he is a doctor, there to help out for the summer at the local practice. He and Kyla quickly begin a relationship, which isn't easy because it is painfully obvious that he had a superior motive for moving to the island, which until the end of that part of the book, we only hear about "the letter" and nothing more about it or its contents. The lack of information about the letter is certainly intriguing, if a little irritating to the point where the temptation to skip ahead and see if a copy of the letter is ever shown is very hard to resist. Unfortunately the letter is never shown, only quoted.

Ethan and Kyla's relationship is an odd one, which really only picks up near the end of the section of the novel, where the two enjoy a hasty physical relationship for one night, ignore one another for a few days to allow emotions to mix, and then the section ends with an overflow of love that has developed over the few weeks the books takes place over, and ends with a very clichéd marriage proposal in a doctors exam room, where Ethan decides that he will stay on the island forever.

The second 'book' starts from the point of view of Evanna, apparently a month after the end of the last book, after she arrives back after a month of working on the mainland. She immediately states how she has loved Logan since they were children, has never looked at another man the way she sees him, but how he will only ever see her as a friend. She appears to be right about this, and as a classic insensitive man, Logan not once refers to her even as his friend, merely good with his daughter, and a fantastic nurse, which also she appreciates these compliments, isn't quite what she wanted to hear. He hadn't missed her in the month she's been away, merely her services. She tries in vain to get him to notice her, and finally gives up. She considers leaving the island permanently, but decides to continue living her life as Logan's friend. Personally I spent a lot of time empathising with her for obvious reasons if you know anything about my recent love life.

Of course, when Logan accidentally runs into Evanna as she comes out the shower, stark naked and without her towel, he starts to see her in a different light. This struck me as a little odd. I mean I know it's realistic and everything, guys can be swayed on their views of someone simply by seeing them naked, but it just seemed a little strange to me. And then, get this, it picks up near the end when the two enjoy a hasty physical relationship for one night, ignore one another for a few days to allow emotions to mix, and then the book ends with an overflow of love that has developed over the past few days, and ends with a very clichéd marriage proposal on a cliff where Evanna decides to stay on the island forever. ... Do you spot the similarities too? It doesn't take a genius.

And that kids, is how you write a novel that sounds bad but is actually surprisingly good. 6 out of 10.

Batman Begins

First, in my defence, I had previously seen about half of it. More or less. Most likely less, but whatever. I can't remember what made me stop watching it, but it obviously didn't hold my attention for long enough to make me want to re-watch it in full. Of course this time around I viewed it with an open mind.

It wasn't bad. In fact it was pretty damn good. It's nothing I'm going to obsessively watch over and over again, I probably won't look up Fanfiction of it, and I wasn't overly captivated by it as a piece of cinema. However, bearing in mind that I'm generally not in a great mindset right now, it was probably a lot better than I thought it was, so of course I will watch it again soon, and I'll probably enjoy it a lot more then. That said, it's still fairly awesome. It held my attention, the plot line was good, and I liked the way the back-story was built into it.

Of course when Bruce's parents died, this played in my head and I had to pause the DVD to sing it:

 

And of course, Gary Oldman kept me interested, but to be perfectly honest it wasn't entirely my type of film. It was good, I did enjoy it, and you were right, it did make a lot of the HMB lines make sense a little more, but I still maintain that it wasn't my kind of film. Good for some, not for me. 

I'm going to watch The Dark Knight tomorrow, if not tonight, and I'll be sure to post my thoughts on that, too. For the record, I still prefer the Musical. I appreciate the movie, I really do, but the musical is just more my style. Despite having pretty terrible songs, gags and pretty much everything else, it suits me perfectly.

Another Update On the Reading Challenge Thing

Okay so I haven't actually read a full book since I last updated this. The only reason I'm bringing this up again is because I recently bought two new books that I need to add to my list. I've started The Great Gatsby several times, but I just can't get into it. I'm sure I will though... in time.


Books I've read this year so far:

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
The Name of the Star by Maureen Johnson
The Abused Werewolf Rescue Group by Catherine Jinks
The Bermudez Triangle by Maureen Johnson
Let it Snow by Maureen Johnson, John Green and Lauren Myracle
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
Will Grayson Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan
Looking For Alaska by John Green**
An Abundance of Katherines by John Green**
Paper Towns by John Green**
13 Little Blue Envelopes by Maureen Johnson
The Last Little Blue Envelope by Maureen Johnson
** - Books read around Christmas and New Year that I can't remember if I read this year or the very end of last year but I'm counting anyway just in case.

Books I've bought and intend to read soon:

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Dracula by Bram Stoker
Rupture by Simon Lelic
Birth of a Killer by Darren Shan
Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
Click by Bill Tancer***
Moab is my Washpot by Stephen Fry***
Star Trek: Vanguard by David Mack
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine by Una McCormack
Nudge by Thaler and Sunstien***
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
Far From the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy
Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
Summer Fling by Sarah Morgan
Once in a House on Fire by Andrea Ashworth
Jane Slayre by Charlotte Bronte and Sherri Browning Erwin
Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson
Fallen by Lauren Kate
Torment by Lauren Kate
Thud by Terry Pratchett
Hogfather by Terry Pratchett

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
*** - Books I've started but not yet finished due to the distraction of other books.


I'll update this list whenever I finish a book.

I'm Bored

Okay, so I've reached that stage of boredom where I want to answer 56 questions I found on a Facebook page.

1. Sexual orientation

Straight

2. What I'm really bad at

Talking

3. The one person whose arms I'd like to be in

Le boyfriend.

4. My best first date

My only first date. I guess it was the first time I saw him after we got together - he met me from drama, put his arm around me, and we walked around town with my friends. I loved it. It suited me well.

5. A description of my self esteem

Pretty low, but it's building. I know I can be awesome, and although I'm not perfect, nobody is. 

6. A description of my best friends

The most awesome people I know. The have the ability to cheer me up and make me laugh and they're completely insane. 

7. My favourite book 

The Late Hector Kipling by David Thewlis. Never before has a book made me change the way I see myself in such an intense way.

8. Biggest turn offs

Lack of respect to anyone who deserves to be respected. Attention seeking.

9. Who my best friend is

Non existent. I don't have one singular best friend.

10. My favourite animal

Why must I choose?

11. Someone I miss.

My grandma. And grandad. 

12. The reason behind my last breakup.

It was in year seven, I was only going out with him as a joke. I forgot I was going out with him until he dumped me. It was rather funny really.

13. What I did yesterday

Woke up, slept, woke up again, took cousins to school, felt awesome, ate porridge, slept, remembered I had to go out, ate soup, slept, got ready, went to Meadowhall, watched Avengers again, abused a tray, sat next to devil child on the bus, watched tv, slept. 

14. What my greatest achievements are

Am I supposed to have some great achievement?

15. A description of the person I dislike the most

Completely up herself. Thinks she's col but she's not. Complete slag. Convinced that she is always right and will always get what she wants in life without working for any of it. Thankfully out of my life but I still can't stand her.

16. My favourite songs right now

Any song on the Strange Case Of.. album by Halestorm. I'm well and truly addicted.

17. How my last kiss went down

Fantastic, thanks.

18. What I find attractive in the preferred sex

A smile that makes me smile, good sense of humour, intelligent, good looking, good heart, romantic.

19. All of the pets I've ever had

Hamish McWindmilll - Hamster. Andrew Rory McWindmill - Hamster.

20. Favourite flavour of ice-cream

Orange and mascarpone cheese. Trust me. 

21. The one place I want to be right now

Right here.

22. The meanest thing anyone has ever said to me

I don't know. I don't remember this kind of thing, because I know that thinking about insults people have thrown at you can hurt much more than they should, so I pay no attention.

23. Where I have lived before

Right here.

24. I'll love you if...

You earn my respect.

25. What are my future plans

Breathing.

26. An internal conflict I have with myself

<I'm hungry> <No, I'm thirsty> <No, I'm hungry> <Whatever, just get to the kitchen and solve both> <No.> <Okay so I'm lazy, mostly>

27. What I'm doing tomorrow

Watching Lord of the Rings with my boyfriend. 

28. What I want to be when I get older

Alive.

29. Most embarrassing moment

Like the insult, I try not to think of those.

30. Two of my insecurities

Small breasts, huge spots.

31. What I would do if I won the lottery

Pay off everything I've ever been given by my parents, and buy my nan a house in Scarborough.

32. A description of the boy I like

Tall, dark hair, eyes I could stare at forever. Brilliant, kind, caring, generous, awesome, amazing.

33. What I love most about myself

My taste in music.

34. My biggest pet peeves

Putting my hand in somebody else's chewing gum they've stuck under a desk. 

35. What bands I've seen live

Jools Holland's Rhythm & Blues Orchestra, Elton John, James Blunt, Michael Bublé, HeavenSent7, and Madness.

36. Who my best friends are

Stop repeating questions.

37. How many kids I want in the future

None. Or at least I don't think I do.

38. My idea of a perfect date

Anything can turn out to be a perfect date if you're with the right person.

39. What I'm really good at

Nothing. I'm mildly good at a few things, but really good at nothing.

40. Most traumatic experience

Having my grandma's death described as "not waking up". Despite that being pretty much what happened, I can't help but think if she knew what was happening, and the thought of her in pain makes me cry every time I think about it.

41. Where I would like to live

Right here. 

42. The nicest thing anyone's ever said to me

I can't remember. You just made me cry, there a re no happy thoughts. It's like a dementor attack.

43. Do I like where I am right now?

Yes.

44. What can I hear right now?

The tapping of the keyboard and the whir of my laptop. 

45. My relationship with my siblings

He used to love me, then he hated me (not seriously, just sibling rivalry), now we're cool and he's my technology dude.

46. All of the pets I've ever had

Stop repeating questions.

47. My biggest worry currently

That I won't get my room ready for tomorrow in time and I'll look like an idiot.

48. Something I've wished for repeatedly

I can't tell you or it won't come true. 

49. My relationship with my parents

Excellent. I couldn't live without them. I wouldn't be able to function without them here and their guidance. I respect them greatly and owe them more than I can ever repay them. 

50. What words make me the best about myself

That makes no sense whatsoever.

51. Something I should have said a long time ago

... Nope.

52. What my last text message says

The gist of it is that I am thanked, and I am loved. I shall divulge no more. 

53. What I hate most about myself

I can be self centred, selfish, a bitch, and I lash out at people without meaning any of it. 

54. Biggest turn ons

Is that not the same question as 18, just reworded?

55. What words upset me the most

Words should create beauty, not upset. 

56. What I hate/hated most about school

Leaving.

I hope you enjoyed that.

Stupid Directors.

I was trawling through Facebook when I came across this photo, and it struck something inside me that made me think, 'I have to agree with this on some levels'. I love the book Tonks and Remus, I love their relationship because there was so much love between them, despite the odds and what society thought of them - it was beautiful, and proved how the power of love can beat anything, even being a werewolf.

I love David Thewlis and Natalia Tena too -they're exactly how I pictured Remus and Tonks would be, they were fantastic as individual characters and I generally love them both. But the lack of attention and focus the film put on them made their relationship come across as something that didn't even seem like it happened. I was horribly disappointed. They tried: you can see how the actors tried to show the chemistry between the characters, but with the lines and the screen-time the directors gave them, it ended up as a pathetic attempt to show a beautiful love story.

          

These are two beautiful people, who, despite their age gap, manage to suit one another very well. Now I don't generally ship real people together but I stand by myself when I say that they would go well together. However, since I'm avoiding that topic because I don't like it, I will say this: the actors get on well. They appear to go well physically. They both portray their individual characters brilliantly. The characters the film characters are based on book characters who have marvellous chemistry and made a beautiful love story, and when we do see the characters together in the films we can see the actors' efforts to make it seem like they are in a relationship, albeit a strange one, but that's kind of what it's like in the books. What the films lack is content on their part of the storyline. That is why the couple seem to be a pointless ship to anyone who has not yet read the books, not because they have no chemistry (I can see it between them, even if nobody else can) but because the films don't show that chemistry. The actors can't go against the script and just add bits in, as much as I'd love them to. They do whatever's written on the script, and fill the bits in between with their own characterization. It wasn't "hi we're here, we have no chemistry but OH LOOK WE'RE HAVING A BABY and dead", it was more like "hey, we're here, we're trying to show you something about us... hey, no, back to us, let us just show you something about us... no? OKAY NOW WE'RE HAVING A BABY, YOU MISSED THE REASONING AND YOU'RE STILL NOT LOOKING! Now we're dead, and apparently we have a son but nobody has any idea why because YOU SKIPPED THAT BIT. Great. Thanks."

Argh.

Dyeing my Hair Purple

New video. Enjoy.

The Last Little Blue Envelope by Maureen Johnson

"Ginny Blackstone spent last summer travelling around Europe, following tasks her laid out in a series of letters before she died. When someone stole Ginny's backpack - and the last little blue envelope inside - she resigned herself to never knowing how the adventure was supposed to end. Now a mysterious boy has contacted Ginny from London, saying he's found her bag. Finally she can finish what she started. But instead of ending her journey, the last letter starts a whole new one, and Ginny must hold on to her wits... and her heart. This time, there are no instructions."

I cannot express how glad I am that I had the sequel right here as soon as I finished 13 Little Blue Envelopes. I loved this just as much as I loved its prequel, if not a little more. This novel held more mytery, kept us in suspense more often, and never ever allowed me to put it down without wondering what was going to happen next.

It is difficult not to love Keith's easy-going character, even if he sometimes does seem to be a bit of a dick. Even Ellis, who Ginny tries to dislike, turns out to be a very likeable character. Oliver is rather mis-portrayed in the first half of the book, but even so, he's a very strong character, and absolutely key to everything that happens. I don't think there was nearly enough Richard in here, but that may have bee intentional.

The link between the first book of this series and this one was brilliant. So completely unlikely, and yet so utterly brilliant and kind of obvious. I was able to make a sort of prediction within the first few chapters, which turned out to be fairly accurate, although not at all in the way I expected.

This also gets 9 out of 10 from me, because I really really really loved it. Really. A lot.

13 Little Blue Envelopes by Maureen Johnson

"If your free-spirited aunt left you 13 little blue envelopes: Would you follow the directions? Would you travel around the world? Would you open the envelopes one by one? Inside envelope 1 is money and instructions to buy a plane ticket. Inside envelope 2 are instructions to a specific London flat. Inside envelope 3 tells Ginny: Find a starving artist. Because of envelope 4, Ginny and a playwright/thief/man-abut-town called Keith go to Scotland together, with disastrous - though really romantic - results. But will she ever see him again? Everything about Ginny will change this summer, and it's all because of 13 little blue envelopes..."

I think it's fair to say by now that I am a huge fan of Maureen Johnson. She's almost completely mental, which really shows in her ability to create amazing characters who are both insane and easy to relate to. The plot of this story is fairly simple, but the way everything weaves together is utterly perfect. The character of Ginny is someone who we initially don't know that much about, other than her love for her runaway artist aunt. This enables us to make up our own mind about her, and find much more of ourselves in the character. Each letter brings a new task, and with every task we learn a little more about Ginny and her Aunt Peg. Each task is something that I think very few of us would be able to do with as much ease as Gnny seemed to do, which doesn't seem very out of place as we the readers know that Aunt Peg found it very easy to uproot herself and so it might be expected that Ginny would follow some similar traits.

This book made me want to travel to a rather desperate extent where I wanted to drive own to Cornwall in the ran because it seemed like the closest I might actually get to travelling the world right now. This inspired me so much, and I really can't explain how much I want to travel right now.

I give this book 9 out of 10, because I really can't fault it, but I'm still waiting to find the "best book I'll ever read".