Blog Challenge: I Haven't Done One of These in a While.

The Challenge: If you could dedicate a day to a good cause, what would it be, and what would the day consist of? 

To answer this, I thought for about ten minutes straight about what means a lot to me. The first thing I thought about was my family, but then I realised that there's already Mother's Day and Father's Day, and well we really don't need another commercial holiday. I considered a lot of things after that - Nerdfighteria, a Harry Potter day, a day of the dead sort of thing to commemorate those who have left us, plus loads more, but none of them seemed possible and most of my ideas had been done already, so I guess they were never my ideas anyway. But thinking more about what it means to be me, I recalled this photo, which coincidentally I posted on Facebook just hours previously. 

In the files on my computer, I called this photo "Vital to life". I know that I've gone on and on throughout various posts on this blog about how much I value individuality and how nobody else's opinion should matter as long as you're happy with yourself, so I'm not going to do yet another version here. But this picture really does mean a lot to me. First off, I love the design, and the image itself has beautiful meaning even without the quote. I don't want to ramble on about this, so I'm going to leave this explanation here and let you make up your own opinion on it, and get on with my challenge. 

My day would be a charity day, orientated to get people to admit who they really are inside. If an old woman wanted to be a dancer for a day, the charity would find a way to make it happen for her. If a person wants to come out to the world, this would be an ideal opportunity. They could just wake up in the morning and be themselves. In schools and workplaces, people would wear what they want to wear, be exactly who they want to be, and if they want to carry on being that person forever, then that's who they'll be. I know there are so many flaws in this plan, but this is just what I'd want in an ideal world. I want a world where people can be who they want to be without being judged. 

The following song seemed fitting. Either way, there's always time for a bit of REM.

The Bermudez Triangle by Maureen Johnson

The Bermudez Triangle is going straight onto my shelf of brilliant books. I've already expressed my love for Maureen Johnson in general, and with every book of hers I read, I fall a little bit further in love with her, in a brilliant kind of way.

Based around a year in the lives of three teenage girls who've been friends since preschool, it's a totally relatable novel. The characters are fantastic; they are so easy to get a feel for, they're funny in their own ways, and like most teenagers, their emotions are all over the place. It's well written, truly enchanting, and if I could have read the entire thing without putting it down I would have done so a hundred times by now.

Blurb: "Nina Bermudez, who TiVos every episode of Trading Spaces because watching people rip down bad decorations soothes her. Avery Dekker, who worships Jack Black but has learned to play Billy Joel's Piano Man by heart just so that she can hate it in detail. Melanie Forrest (a.k.a Mel), who inspires guys to develop instantaneous, epic crushes - the kind that cause them to want to iron their clothes and listen to the lyrics of slow songs. Lifelong best friends Nina, Avery and Mel fave their first separation the summer before their senior year, when Nina attends a ten week program at Stanford. But how much can happen in ten weeks? Plenty, it seems. Nina finds herself blindsided by Steve, the adorable ecowarrior down the hall. Too bad he lives in Oregon and she's from upstate New York. When the Stanford trip ends, she has to wait 8,736 hours before she can see him again. At least she'll soon he reunited with Mel and Avery. But Nina isn't the only one whose life was turned upside down in ten weeks. While Nina was gone, Mel had her first real kiss. With Avery."

This book touches on a lot of issues which nearly every teenager will go through at least some of - friendship, love, sexuality, parents, work... It's almost a guide to curving teen years, except Mel, Avery and Nina are hardly experts in these fields. I really loved every word of it, plus the cover on my edition is waterproof too, making it instantly more awesome. I'd rate it 7/10 and highly recommend it.

Interpreting Lyrics: The Sound of Silence

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools", said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls"
And whispered in the sounds of silence

Written and performed by Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel respectively.

We'll start with verse two, because most of the first is in the present tense, so we'll be going back to it at the end. 

The restless dream refers to being in a world where everything is happy and you don’t know what is going on in real life, but it’s restless because there is a part of you that knows something is wrong and that bit just won’t shut up. The narrow street of cobblestone is narrow because there isn’t room to think, and it’s uneven ground that he’s finding hard to walk down. Nobody else is coming down this road because he’s the only person who can see this street and can fit down it, but then the light comes in, and underneath the halo of a street-lamp (a holy light), and under that light he sees a man less fortunate than him he tries to turn his collar to it so it can’t affect him as he chooses to ignore him, because nobody cares what anybody else thinks - society is about keeping yourself to yourself - so the man probably wouldn't let him help him if he tried. But then his eyes are stabbed by the flash of a neon light as he feels the pain of knowing that he’s been lied to all of his life, and it hurts to know that he’s been kept away from the truth. The flash of the neon light gives him the enlightenment and the realisation that life isn't as it seems and that it isn't all happy. If we think of the rest of the people as living in their own little silent bubbles, too afraid to talk to each other and not caring for each other’s opinions, then  when his enlightenment ‘splits the night’, it pops the bubble of silence which surrounds him and makes him see how unhappy people truly are.  We see the silence as some kind of entity which is controlling the people, stopping them from communicating and isolating them from society. Paul Simon here becomes the only man who sees past the silence and is now in control of his own life and destiny.

The ‘naked light’ refers to the same stage of realisation, but it’s clear to him now because he can see what’s going on.  The ten thousand people that he sees are the people being controlled, who are still wrapped in their own silent bubbles, talking without speaking and hearing without listening because they’re not realising the actual depth of their words, not seeing the consequences of their actions and words, not realising the misconception they have been led to believe by the silent entity. They are so controlled by the silence that they don’t think their own thoughts, cannot say what they truly believe. The fact that he says they’re 'writing songs that voices never share' shows that they are starting to think that something’s not right in their society but at the same time, part of their mind is not their own. They’re being controlled so strongly that they can’t think for themselves, its not that they’re choosing not to believe the truth, but more that they physically can’t as they’ve been brainwashed by the silence and they daren’t do anything other than what the silence has told them to do, as it says, 'and no one dared disturb the sound of silence'. If the people tried to escape, they could potentially run away from the problem but they daren’t because there would be no one to guide them as everyone thinks the same, no one could save them. The only person who believes differently to everyone else is Paul Simon.

Simon says ‘Fools, you do not know silence like a cancer grows’. He refers to cancer as a parasite, it will kill them because it gets into their system and grows bigger and bigger until it destroys everything. The silence will infect them and control them so much that it kills them slowly - they need to escape while they can. He says ‘hear my words that I might teach you and take my arms that I might reach you’ in a bid to save the people, telling them that if they listen to him and reach out to him then he can save them, pulling them away from the silence and taking them to a better place where they can be their own people. But his words fall like silent raindrops, showing that the people ignored him, as the silence has already infected them so badly that they cannot focus on what he is saying and do not believe him. The words are falling heavy as the raindrops fall a long way, into 'the wells of silence', the wells that have been created by the silent entity of thoughts of the people who tried to escape, and all of those thoughts are pooling in a well, a well which fills and never drains, but a well provides sustenance where it cannot otherwise be found, so the well is holding the wishes to escape and preserving them, building up a reserve, and the well could potentially eventually create a light. But for the time being, they will echo; hitting things but never entering them, trapped in an enclosed space, and like every echo, it has the potential to fade away into nothing.

'The people bowed and prayed to the neon god they made' refers to the idea that the silence planted, and they have relied on so much that it has become somewhat of a god to them, something for them to worship and pray to. The sign is flashing in their peripheral vision, trying to pull them away to the light, it is warning them that there is something better that is just within their reach, but it is in the places that they never look, hidden. It is saying that 'the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls,' because the things that are most important are the things that we usually walk past without thinking about, so the messages written on the walls of the subway by people that nobody pays any attention to because they aren’t behaving in a normal fashion, but the things that they aren’t noticing are written by prophets, prophets other than the silent entity who control them, prophets with the actual right idea who could save them all. But of course nobody listens to them. They're the crazy people who write on subway walls. But the words are also 'whispered in the sounds of silence', which I assume is a sign that the silent entity is breaking down. 

And so we return to the first verse. The first line, 'hello darkness my old friend, I've come to talk to you again' are the only two lines in the present tense, and personally I think them to be possibly the most important ones. Basically what I believe him to be saying when he says this is that after all of the above has happened, after he's noticed it all, what he's saying in the whole first verse is that he's gone back to the darkness and confronting it and the silence about it. The whole of the rest of the song is what he's saying to the darkness. He's telling it that a vision 'softly creeping' planted a vision which 'still remains within the sound of silence', then goes on throughout the song to talk about this vision, and how he knows how they're controlling people and that he's spreading the word. This gives the last line a lot more power, which says that the words of the prophets are also being 'whispered in the sounds of silence', which I take to mean that he's planted the seed of doubt in the brains of the silent entity, and they're beginning to doubt their power. At the risk of sounding like a cliché, it is the sign of hope for humanity on the horizon.

Inferred by Rach and Dev. 

Ah.

I have a maths exam in three days which I am in no way prepared for. So what am I doing? Well, I'm not doing my biology homework, which I should be, and I'm not revising maths like I definitely should be. I'm.reading and regretting being such a magnet for procrastination.

"It is the quality of one's convictions which determines success, not the number of followers."

~ Remus Lupin - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2.

The Cuteness Attraction

Watch "Cute OVERLOAD: The Ultimate Concern Edition" on YouTube

The above video needs to be watched before any attempt to read this post is made. I don't care if you don't like the people that made it, just watch it.

Done? Good. The above video is probably my favourite video on YouTube, ever. It's entertaining, it raises points which made me think enough to write this post (this is my third attempt now because every time I turn the screen off it erases everything) and have you SEEN how cute it is? Not just Henry, but the relationship between the father and son. It's a relationship I'm personally familiar with, as I have a great relationship with both of my parents, and yet it seems so rare nowadays what with all of the media coverage of abusive and neglecting parents. I'm so happy for Henry and John, because Henry will grow up with a parent who noms him and showers him with love and affection, whereas there are some parents who leave their children defenceless at a young age, with no money or food. Thankfully, the vast majority of parents worldwide make a conscious effort to make their primary concern the wellbeing of their children.

I always try to make sure that my parents know that I love and appreciate them and everything they've done for me over the years, because I find it difficult to comprehend how many people don't appreciate their parents at all, and take them for granted. My dad saved my life when I was a few days old by freeing my airways when I stopped breathing. I have no recollection of this event at all, and yet I feel like I owe him something for that. Of course I'll always be in the debt of my parents. Hardly anybody seems to realise that as John mentioned, when a child is born, something clicks inside the parents that makes them want to change nappies and give up half of their income to feed another mouth. Without our parents, we just wouldn't last. They go out to work for us, they make sacrifices for us, they feed, clothe and advise us. In many respects, they tend to be completely selfless for our sakes. We need them, and most of us are lucky to have even one of them.

Family should always be a primary concern, or at least one of them, among world preservation for the protection of our species and the planet. I'd love to love in a world where money didn't exist. In my perfect world without money, there'd be far fewer fights and wars, nobody would go hungry and everything would be shared out equally. Of course I realise that this wouldn't actually work out. We'd end up resorting back to the world where the fittest survive, basically it would be a devolution. We would devolve into a species where the strongest got the best shelter and the first pick of the food. The old and weak would starve, get kicked out of their homes and die. The strongest would battle for the highest ranks, basically rendering us to some primeval, inhuman species. They say that money is the root of all evil but really it's the root of all good, too. Financial stability is high on my list of wishes for the future, because the world really wouldn't work without money, and you can't survive out there without it. Yet another reason I'm very grateful for my working parents.

I think I love this video because it makes me happy. If makes me grateful for what I have, and yes; the cuteness overload is definitely a scoring factor. Henry is cute, John is cute in a weird way, and the interaction between them is definitely cute. There's also something about this which really makes me want to become a writer, just so I can work from home really, and wear pyjamas well into the middle of the day.

Let It Snow by John Green, Maureen Johnson and Lauren Myracle

Let It Snow is a book co-written by three brilliant authors. Split into three sub-stories, each author wrote an individual story, with characters and events interlinking to help each story along.

"Sparkling white snowdrifts... Beautiful presents wrapped in ribbons, and multicoloured lights glittering in the night through the falling snow. A Christmas Eve snowstorm transforms one small then into a romantic haven, the kind you only see in movies. Well, kinda. After all, a cold and wet hike from a stranded train through the middle of nowhere would not normally end with a delicious kiss with a charming stranger. And one would think that a trip tp the Waffle House through four feet of snow would lead to love with an old friend. Or that the way back to true love starts with a painfully early morning shift at Starbucks. Thanks to three of today's best-selling teen authors - John Green, Maureen Johnson and Lauren Myracle - the magic of the holidays shines on these hilarious and charming interconnected tales of love, romance and breathtaking kisses."

The plot is surprisingly easy to follow,and it's easy to become attached to these reliable yet humerous characters. There's not really a lot to say about this book without giving away plot points, so I'll keep it simple; it's a brilliant read. I'd recommend it, especially around Christmas, and so I give it a rating of 6/10.

Argh.

I don't know what's wrong. Nothing is particularly bad, but right now all I want to do is swear at people who piss me if even in the smallest ways. I'm getting really irritated over nothing. I'm being lazy, I know I'm going to regret it, yet I don't give a shit. All I want to fucking do is swear and chill, because this isn't me and I'm kinda scared that this is is becoming me. I hate ignorant people, and yes I can class myself in there sometimes. I'm fucking trying to be a good person and a decent student, but it's just not fucking happening tonight, is it? My guitar's out of tune but I can't play anything anyway. My whole being is telling that I can't he fucking arsed to get up and do something with my life, except this one tiny piece of my brain that's able to be rational, and making me blog to get it out. But to be honest, I've been writing this post for five probably ten minutes now and I don't fell any difference at all. I want to be one or the other, an idiot so I can hate myself or rational so I can try to deal with this. I want to fucking feel something instead of being stuck in my head with the conflict and the hell.

I'm going in the shower. Maybe that'll help me decide.

Pancake Day

Today is the day we celebrate the memory of all the pancakes that died for our sins.

God bless the pancake.

Hi, My Name is Rach, and I'm a Bookaholic.

As you may be aware, this year I have set myself the target of reading 50 books before the New Year's countdown. I'm going to review every book I read, good or bad, although I can't promise I'll finish all of the ones I start.

I know a lot of people don't like reading, which I accept straight off, but I just have to argue when people say that reading is boring. For me, there is no better way to relax than with a good book. Of course what defines a good book differs with the genre, but obviously clichés are a no-go, so overdone themes like vampires, werewolves and zombies are generally something to avoid, as much potential as they may have, which is usually nothing. But once I find a good book, a series or just an author in general, it's a good idea, especially for the purposes of this project, to stick to it. As I've found, John Green and Maureen Johnson are extremely good authors, and as I've read pretty much all of JG's work, I'm aiming to do the same for MJ.

A good book relaxes me. There seems to be something so beneficial about just sitting down and escaping life for a little while, and nothing compares to that for me. I'd rather read than watch most of the things on TV. I'd rather snuggle up in bed and read myself to sleep every night than go to parties every night. I'd also rather read than do homework, which I guess is where the positive aspects end, at least in respect for my grades.

I'm not sure what the exact purpose of this project is, but certainly some of the outcomes include building my knowledge on great literature, fleshing out my bookcase, and getting back into the phase where I read and I read, and I just form a little bubble where nothing else matters. It's ridiculously brilliant for me, on some levels. Of course I'm still going to be social. I'm not stupid enough to sacrifice everything for this - I'm just doing something that I enjoy. 

I do worry sometimes, that I'm too oblivious for my own good. I'm really bad at taking hints, assessing social situations and talking to people. I'm drawing back into my shell and although I'm trying my hardest to understand, you've just got to take your time with me, and I'm truly sorry for the inconveniences and if you ever feel like snapping at me, I won't blame you, in fact I'll probably learn from it. I completely understand if you feel that I'm not capable of understanding your situation and sometimes I give my opinion when you really don't want to hear it, but just know that I'm always here, always willing to listen and help to guide. I love you dudes, and if you just open up, maybe you'll see that I'm not that bad once I know what's going on. I might be biased and as I learned tonight, unhelpful, but I'm trying. I just can't escape my bloody stupid head.

Just a Quickie...

I know I don't have to blog on Sundays, but I like to. I had one planned out, too, I just didn't get around to actually writing it. It's a shame really because I've been planning it since Saturday morning. Anyway...

I have an interview at Ridgewood sixth form tomorrow which I'm really nervous about. I've never had an interview before, and I can tell I'm not going to do well. Panic, I can assure you, is a certainty.

In other news, this morning/afternoon (it was morning to me), mum and I devised an excellent recipe for a banana milkshake. For two servings, it's one banana, chopped into a blender, quite a lot of milk, around half a pint or something, I'm not good with measurements, and where most people would add vanilla icecream, we added strawberry cheesecake flavour. It was definitely the best milkshake I've ever had, and I really, really want another one. It'd be interesting to try it with actual strawberry cheesecake as opposed to the icecream, but either way, it's incredible. You get this amazing balance of strawberry and banana, with the irresistible added bonus of the biscuit base. The icecream itself was to die for, but you throw it into the banana milkshake and you have heaven right there in a glass.

The Name of the Star by Maureen Johnson

I accept and apologise that this post is late but I literally just finished reading this book,  and I can confirm, it is a drastic improvement from the last book I reviewed.

I read The Name of the Star in a matter of hours, because I simply could not put it down. I think I put it down five times, each time brief, and during those breaks (toilet, food, socializing with parents etc, the necessary stuff) the book and its contents barely left my brain. Needless to say, this is an astonishingly good read. It is entrancing, mortifying, funny, all the things a good book should be. I can't find one criticism on it. Not one, although I'm discounting 'it scared the living daylight out of me' as a negative point, because it just adds to the effect.

Blurb: "Louisiana teenager Rory Deveaux flies to London for the start of a new life at boarding school. But her arrival is overshadowed by a sudden outbreak of brutal murders, gruesome crimes mimicking the horrific work of Jack the Ripper. 'Rippermania' grabs hold of London, and the police are stumped with few leads and no witnesses. Except one. Rory has seen their prime suspect on the school grounds. But her friend Jazza didn't see anyone. So why could only Rory see him? And what is he planning to do next? In this edge-of-your-seat thriller, full of suspense and romance, Rory discovers the secrets of London and the truth about her own shocking abilities, as Jack the Ripper returns..."

It has every potential to be full of clichés, bad puns and tragic characters, but it has none of these. It's well and truly gripping, and at no point while reading it did I feel the need to groan and/or roll my eyes. The characters are new and interesting yet completely relatable, even if in unconventional ways. I found the viewpoint of an American teenager submerged in British culture to be hilarious in the most subtle aspects, and it is instantly obvious that a LOT of research went into this novel, seeing as the author is American herself.

The idea of Jack the Ripper is instantly chilling to anyone who has even heard of him, although I instantly relate the Ripper and this book to the Yorkshire Ripper, a figure I am much more familiar with. This also opened my eyes a little to the fact that terrible things can and do happens at completely unpredicted points in time and space, because there are maniacs out there. However this is not just about the Ripper. It's far more interesting than that. But I don't want to ruin it for you...

Look for The Name of the Star in Waterstones around World Book Day, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. That is, unless you follow Maureen Johnson on Twitter, in which case you'll just be pleasant. I do advise that you follow MJ on Twitter, she's not that hard to find, but she's brilliant, in that she's completely insane and yet genius. I am not ashamed to admit that I stalk her a little on Twitter. I CAN'T HELP IT! She Tweets constantly and they never fail to be entertaining. Plus I don't think she minds... DFTBA.

Oh, and I rate this book as 9/10. I took off a mark because it scared me shitless.

The Abused Werewolf Rescue Group by Catherine Jinks

Although technically either the second or third book I've read in 2012, this wasn't the best start to my search for a great book.

"When Tobias Vandevelde wakes up in hospital with no memory of the night before, he is told that he was found unconscious. In a zoo pen. (naked, I might add.) The doctor rules out epilepsy and Toby's prank-loving friends are just as freaked out as he is. Then the wild-eyed Reuben turns up talking in hushed tones about Toby being a werewolf. Reuben's pale, insomniac friends seem equally convinced and offer to chain him up every full moon. They also claim to be part of some vampire support group. This has to be a joke - right? It's only when he's kidnapped, imprisoned and in desperate need of rescuing that Toby begins to believe them. Hamster-drinking Vampires, vulnerable werewolves and accidental zombies? Welcome to the bizarre world of the abused werewolf rescue group."

That is the ACTUAL blurb. I don't know if it's just me, but it sounds insane. It IS insane, by all accounts.

It's definitely a children's book, or at least early teens. It's not necessarily a bad book - it kept me entertained and engrossed at least a little, but it seems to me now that books on werewolves are over done, books on vampires are certainly even more over done, and although books on zombies aren't quite as popular, when you throw them into a book which already contains werewolves and vampires, it becomes a little too much.

Admittedly, the vampires and the zombies don't play a huge part in it until the last six chapters - around three quarters of the way through, in fact, but werewolves themselves aren't actually a huge feature either, aside from the issues they raise and the main character wondering whether he is or isn't a werewolf, a species which may or may not exist, and until half way through, nothing exciting happens at all. After this point, it's intriguing, but past a certain point, all of the characters and the species involved get confusing as they start merging and cross-breeding. When his mother re-enters the book, I almost wanted to stop reading because of how unbearably irritating I found her to be. Then right at the end, spoiler alert, the last chapter is the most clichéd, boring end to an otherwise bearable novel I have ever read. After Toby and his mother FINALLY accept that he may in fact be a werewolf, he plays it off as "yeah this is my life now, it's cool, I don't care about my friends any more" and then we see one of the two worst ways to end a book, one of which, the 'it was all a dream' ending, I must credit the author for not using. However, she did use the equally as terrible ending, the 'this is me talking into a voice recorder, and I'm going to have it published' scenario, as if this is not a terrible novel for children, but actually a "thinly disguised piece of non-fiction".

At the end of the book, the last few pages consists of an extract from a prequel or sequel (I can't tell) to this book, which I read two pages of before I became so mind-numbingly bored I wanted to chew my own face off.

My verdict? I would not read this again or recommend it for anyone who is not a twelve year old boy. It's not a bad book, it's just not a particularly good one either. Two stars. Full of clichés and bad stereotypes, it is not a good read for someone interested in werewolves. However, it will sit on my bookcase as part of my werewolf book collection which I am slowly forming.

Giving Up My Search

For the past two weeks or so, I've devoted a shocking amount of time to finding a particular Vlogbrothers video, or more specifically, the answer to one particular question. The question itself is more like instructions on how to do something that I'd convinced myself that I needed to do for so many reasons, but do you know what? I've given up. I don't need to do... that thing that I thought I needed to do. I'm not in such dire need of.. something.. that I'm going to waste a shockingly large amount of time, looking for the perfect way to word something so that I can finally do that thing that I really don't need to do.

So I'm not going to do it.

That's it.

I'm decided.

Not doing it.

Not searching, not wasting time, not wasting heart.

Nope.

Making Me Smile

Watch "Random Valentine; Condom Taping" on YouTube

I've missed two blog so far this week, but that's due to illness. Personally I don't think I deserve to be punished for those, but it's your call, I suppose.
When you're ill, it can sometimes take a lot to make you smile, so I knew I must be at least 50% better when the link to the video above made me giggle my socks off. I hope you enjoy it too, because damn, it's funny.

An Explanation (and a long post at last)

Sometimes in life there aren't many things that can make you truly happy. Things get you down, you get stressed, and you don't even have the time to attempt anything relaxing. So what do we do in these situations? Some people just get on with life, cope with it, carry their burdens and hope for a nirvana. Others become introverted hermit crabs and keep everything in, slowly becoming depressive as they refuse to share anything, and some just forget about everything, declare their lives to be shit and try to see the greener grass by just generally not giving a care to anything. Everyone has their own method which may or may not work for them, and I'm not going to stress a point on there because what works for some people doesn't for others. It's human nature to believe that your views are better than anybody else's and I'm not going to pretend that we all don't fall subject to that viewpoint now and again. We are all both right and wrong about our opinions, because opinions are just that. They aren't fact, but they're not complete rubbish either.

That said, I generally have three stages in my method for relieving stress or relaxing, and it does tend to work really well for me. There's never not something running through my mind, be it a song, a quote I'm deciphering or a conversation I've had or would like to have with someone, and sometimes it can all become something of a mess and I'd quite like it all to quieten down and focus on one solitary thing, or focus away from one thing in particular. First, I find something which could potentially take my mind off whatever I'm trying to think or not think about, and this thing is usually in the form of a video. Music and reading works too, but videos work better because they require more attention from my senses, and I find it hard to read and listen to music at the same time. Vlogs also work, but they tend to make me think even more and confuse me, and often make my head a mess, hence why this post is a little messy around the edges. This brings me neatly to my stage two; blogging. It doesn't actually have to be a blog post, writing stories or fanfiction work too, but blogging tends to be the process I lean towards, and a lot of the posts on here (this one included) exist solely as a result of me trying to take my mind off something. This stage is in effect, me clearing out my system by writing about  the thing that I need to stop thinking about in order to maintain what little sanity I have. I consider things deeply, debate them and try to decide on an opinion to form (which is basically what the first paragraph of this post is). This requires a lot of thinking and I can write and rewrite a point so many times in different ways, it's really quite fascinating to read it once I've gotten the worst of it out of my system. My third and final stage is basically stage one repeated, except it usually lasts a lot longer and I'll be more relaxed about it. If I ended stage one midway through a video then it could lead on directly from it, it's more than likely that I'm going to go back to it. Half of my screen right now is a Vlogbrothers video, paused 54 seconds from the end, because a thought entered my head so I watched something different and that combined with other activities led me to writing this, and I fully intend to go back to that video as soon as I'm finished with this, and not a moment sooner, because I'm in the right mindset now and I shall not distract myself. Vlogbrothers shal be my treat for finishing this post, but I'm not going to rush it.

It helps if the thing that I distract myself with is something that I'm very passionate about, and it bodes well for me that I get obsessed with things pretty easily.

I have been judged before for getting excited about things and obsessing over them, and I really do understand how that might be annoying, but what I don't get is when people say that I'm wasting my life by getting obsessed with things. Now I understand where they're coming from, and I'm not going to get all teenager-y and say that "it's my life and if I want to waste it who are you to stop me", and I'd rather you voiced your opinions on me rather than keeping them quiet and pretending that you like me when you really can't stand me, but when you tell me that I'm a weirdo for effectively being myself, and that you'd rather have a shitty life than be me ... well to be perfectly honest I'm a little offended. You don't have to like the things that I do or even pretend to, and I don't expect you to get excited about these little things. I don't particularly want to be any of you, either, because I'm happy with my life and as a general rule, I like who I am (I just hate some of the decisions I make). I just really can't fathom why people think that judging me and judging the things that make me who I am are different things, because when you do that, you're not discriminating the thing itself, because if you were that would be your opinion and that's fine, but when you call them shitty little things that I obsess over and let take over my life, although you may not realise it, they are a vital part of who I am. When I relax and try to take my mind off things, when I watch Vlogbrothers videos or scroll through Tumblr pages while listening to Simon and Garfunkel, I take it all in so I don't have to think about whatever is getting to me, and generally if I can't do that, I go downhill rapidly. I get angry and I get frustrated. You've seen me when I get like this and you know that it isn't fun for anybody involved. Little things make me happy. S&G make me smile, they give me hope in life and love and friendship. Nerdfighteria makes me happy; it gives me hope in humanity, and it gives me the confidence to be who I am. You may not realise it; you may see them only as things that I get excited over and talk about endlessly, but that's only because each obsessions starts when I'd rather think about that than something else. They make me seem insane sometimes, but really they're the reason that I have what little sanity I have. Truthfully? The reason I extended my blogging challenge into the new year was because I knew that if I didn't keep up my process of taking my mind of things, I'd slowly bring myself down into being a person who I really don't want to be, and nobody wants to spend time with. I knew that without these things, I'd end up snapping at people and saying things that I don't mean.

As I said before, you can disagree with me on this, because all opinions are believed to be fact by somebody. I don't expect you to suddenly change your mind about the things that I like, just accept that I do talk about them. You can tell me to shut up if it irritates you, in fact I encourage you to let me know when I get beyond irritating, and I'll be sure to return the favour. You can tell me when you don't care about whatever I'm rambling on about, and feel free to voice your opinion on it. But there's a line, dude.

Pfft.

S

It's your fault this time. :)

Day Four

Still no interesting post. Should I give up? Probably. Am I going to? No. Definitely not. I am many things but one thing that I am not is a quitter. I will see this through to the end, if it's the last thing I do.

Third

The third short blog in a row and I really am sorry. I would have done a long one tonight but my wrist is killing me and I'm tired out, emotionally and physically. Still, at least half-term starts tomorrow. Although it'll be a miracle if that goes by stress free.

My Apologies

This is the second last minute post in a row. I have a good one in planning which should be ready by tomorrow. I'll write it on the bus home, probably. I need to sleep now. Goodnight.

Tagged

This is really unusual for me. I mean this is just untouched ground. I kinda like it... But its so strange!

Sometimes Technology Infuriates Me

It really does. I don't know if it's a problem specific to my phone or if it's one which happens a lot with Androids, but it has a real temper when it comes to connecting to the internet. Sometimes it will manage it, other times it'll just cut out. I know the Internet is working fine becuase my phone refuses to connect right now and yet I'm able to post this from my iPod. Any thoughts on this would be appreciated...

I also don't see the point in having different keyboards on different devices! Switching between the Apple keyboard and the Android keyboard isn't usually so bad, until it comes to punctuation. The Android keyboard has a full-stop on the alphabet keyboard, as well as one on the first punctuation board, and the double tap space bar also works as a full-stop, but not quite as often as would be appreciated in comparison to the iPod keyboard. Then the basic punctuation (.,?!') is all shifted around, and the Android feels the need to have three boards for punctuation and emoticons which I never use because they look stupid, and it doesn't reset to the first board if you go back to text, which really winds me up. On the Apple keyboard, if you use an apostraphe, it automatically snaps back to the text board without you having to do it manually, which is really confusing when you go to the Android board and it's an extra tap which you don't even think about, so you end up with a few random punctuation marks in your sentence.

Then there's the autocorrect, which I really miss when I use my phone. I tend to make a lot of typos when I type, and where Android makes (mostly incorrect) suggestions as to what I might mean and makes me either choose or retype in an irritating and time consuming way, Apple just assumes, and at least if it doesn't get ot right (although it usually does for me) the things it does correct to are sometimes highly entertaining. Although, I still don't get why it feels the need to capitalise 'Reading'.

Even the letter select system is better on the iPod. If you make an error half way through a word on the iPod, you simply drag your finger through the word and settle on the right letter. You can highlight it easily, and whatever you do by this method comes up in a little magnifying glass type thing, so it's really clear what you're doing, and everything is focused. However on the Android, it's a hit and miss process. You need to use a single tap to get as close to the letter as possible, and then erase around it. It hardly ever works properly, if it's near the edge of the screen then it often clicks on something different, and it's just alltogether a really awful system.

Don't get me wrong, I love my phone. I just wish it wasn't so damn awkward.

The YouTube.

I love YouTube. It's probably the website I spend the most time on, since I stopped looking for new Fanfictions, and hardly anyone updates the ones I actually read. I guess the thing about YouTube is that it's so diverse in its content that there is something on there for everyone, and once you find something you like, you can just keep going and going and going through links until you reach that weird part of YouTube... You know the weird part of YouTube, where you're watching people having tattoos done and random body parts pierced, or where naked men dance on the beach with bananas, or a 24 hour loop of a seemingly random man humping a giant fish sculpture.

The internet is brilliant.

My personal favourite part of YouTube is the vloggers, my preferred ones being (in no particular order) Charlieissocoollike, (epic) Nerimon, (epic) Littleradge, (sexy) the Vlogbrothers, (made of awesome, nerdfightastic) Shane Dawson, (brilliant) Jory Caron, (not bad) Riley McIlwain, (not bad) Jon Paula,(truthful  news/entertainment)  JenxthexJinx, (amazing, hilarious) EddPlant, (fairly decent music and entertaining) GradualReport, (genius hilarity <3)  jackisanerd, (strangely brilliant) jacksfilms, (even better) Tobuscus, (better still) TobyTurner, (a little long, still epic) TouchTheSkyFilms, (so amazing <3) Khyan1, (weirdly epic)  Danisnotonfire, (funny and nice ;D)  owlssayhoot, (interesting) amazingphil, (awesome)  Ssondiyazi (brilliant :D)... I've just realised how long the list actually is, and these are just vloggers. These should all be linked, by the way, and they're all awesome in their own light.


This post was going to be longer, but I'm tired.

Credit must go to Becca today, who lent me use of the word 'diverse' for this post.

I'm Not Generally a Baby Person...

... but damn, Caitlin is CUTE. Well, all of my little cousins are cute, but I'm only just noticing the extent of their cuteness now, as opposed to when I was eight when Lucy was born, and I wasn't really interested in babies.

I love all of my cousins to bits, the older ones and the younger ones, but it's only in the past year or so that I've actually started thinking of babies as any more than lovable loud and smelly things. I guess it's hormones, but it's definitely not to the point where I actually WANT a baby. After all, they are still loud and everything, and they all go through a stage where they look a bit like Slitheen.

Idiots

Some people really get on my nerves. It's usually the people who are idiots just for the sake of irritating others to amuse their friends. I know why they do it; they think it's funny. They don't give a shit about the people they irritate, because they think that it's completely normal. They think that it isn't causing any harm whatsoever, because to them, someone's anger or embarrassment or pain in humorous. Not once do they ever stop and think "hey, is this a bad thing?" because do you know what? They are fucking idiots.

The most common example of this is something that I see literally every day in school. Person A likes to read on the computer. She is, by all accounts a lovely girl. She never says a bad word about anyone and I really love her for being who she is, despite being bullied. She's a little on the irritating side but she's a great friend and I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't been the best friend to her that I could have been. But anyway, person A likes to keep herself to herself in a morning, and she sits in the corner on a computer, reading. Of course, our school is filled with idiots. Idiots who can't even leave her alone, when she isn't doing anything wrong at all. For some reason, they feel the need to stand directly behind her with their heads almost touching her shoulders, clearly invading her personal space. Something else I should mention about person A is that she has a very short temper, and isn't afraid to lash out at those who irritate her. So person B is standing behind person A, often with persons C, D and E stood behind him to back up his irritating persona. He then finds it necessary to talk to her in short and repetitive phrases like; "what are you reading? What are you reading? What are you reading?" until at last person A snaps, and shouts at them in an unfortunately undignified voice to go away and leave her alone. For some reason, this response is seen as entertaining by the posse of idiots, who then walk off laughing their pompous little heads off, leaving person A very angry, distressed and shaken up. I'm sorry, but I don't see the entertainment factor in this. In fact, I find it disturbing and mean.

The next example is something which irritates me to no end. People, typically boys, who go around telling everyone that one of their friends likes you. It's clearly not true, because you've said the same thing to every girl in the year, and apparently the words "fuck off" mean nothing any more, and are also, apparently, entertaining. Again, I don't see the entertainment in being persistently annoying.

It's a common occurrence at lunch times that two or three people will pull themselves away from our group to have conversation, debate or discussion in private. These conversations are easy to spot even by the most idiotic students in school. We tend to keep our heads down, spend a fair amount of time hugging, and don't spend a lot of time with smiles on our faces, hence the need to be having a private conversation. It seems that there are some ridiculously stupid people in our year who see us drifting away from our usual group and think "ooh, they must want us to come and irritate them," which they do happily, leaving their own group of people we never talk to, just to come and ruin our conversation. Then when we kindly ask them to leave us alone (which apparently needs to be done repeatedly), they don't understand the meaning of it, and instead ask us stupid questions (see above) and crowd around us. They then go in search of the response the get from person A, which they know they're going to get because they're being fucking annoying enough. Sure enough, it doesn't take long before we're restraining ourselves from hitting the ring leader and shouting at them to fuck off, because we're really not having a good day and despite how irritating it is that they find it amusing, it seems to work, because they're really just cowards who can't go up against a couple of girls in a fight. I never really thought of myself as a fighter, being the stupidly calm yet clumsy person I am, but if they do that again, I'm not going to argue when a part of my brain tells me to punch them.

They do it because they're bored. "Was I bored? No, I wasn't fuckin' bored. I'm never bored. That's the trouble with everybody - you're all so bored. You've had nature explained to you and you're bored with it, you've had the living body explained to you and you're bored with it, you've had the universe explained to you and you're bored with it, so now you want cheap thrills and, like, plenty of them, and it doesn't matter how tawdry or vacuous they are as long as it's new as long as it's new as long as it flashes and fuckin' bleeps in forty fuckin' different colors. So whatever else you can say about me, I'm not fuckin' bored."


Idiots. 

Awaiting Punishment

Okay, so I haven't posted in three days, which technically because of the weekend isn't so bad, but I'm trying to keep up a constant schedule here, and I've posted on every Sunday this year so far, so really I've missed two days. So, roll on the punishment.

We're All Going To Die.

And by we, I mean humanity. Or all living things really, but I'm using humanity as an example because y'know, its more relevant than anything else, given that we're human.

The sun is a star, and like a lot of things it has a sort of life cycle, except stars aren't living things so it's not exactly a "life" cycle, but it's just terminology I'm going with. So all stars start out life as just clouds of gas and dust in space. Then, because of gravity, all of the gas and stuff comes spiraling in and the gravitational energy turns into heat energy, and the temperature rises so it's really really really hot, and eventually some nuclear fusion happens and it forms helium nuclei with give out immense amounts of light and heat and stuff. This is where it becomes a star and it's oh so magical. Straight away it enters a stable period where it's all nice and neat and it isn't killing anything because all of the forces are balanced, and it's called a main sequence star. It's also at this stage where our sun is now, except it's about halfway through this period. But on the bright side, this period can last millions of years. On the not so bright side, at some point it's gonna stop being a main sequence star and to cut a long story short, the Earth is gonna be engulfed by the sun. It's kinda like the sun is initiating karma, because it's like it's saying to the Earth, "Hey! I'm the reason you have life living on you, but that life is slowly killing you and that's not fair so I'm going to kill you! Eventually..."

So yeah, when the sun finishes it's stable period and becomes a red giant, it's gonna swell to a really really big size and get really really cold, and there is absolutely no chance of the Earth surviving that. Again, we're back to the bright side, and I'm just suggesting that humanity is maybe, probably, definitely not going to be here by then.

With the rate we're going at, destroying rainforests and using all of the non-renuable fuel sources and burning them and ripping holes in the ozone layer (French translation: ozone nappy), if we don't kill off all of the life on our planet in the next few hundred years and we don't kill off the whole world with war against martians, unless we can evolve into something which can live without oxygen, food and clean drinking water, we're all just going to die out. This could be from what I mentioned before, or maybe the radiation we cause in our day to day lives will just become too much for us and the whole world will become infertile and cause self extinction. Basically, by my rough estimation, in less than a thousand years, there's a high possibility that there just won't be anything left living.

So, when the sun finally reaches the end of it's stable life, we'll be long gone. Well, probably. Due to the rate that revolutions have been happening in the past two thousand years at least, there's always the possibility that if we can last a few thousand years, we'll have advanced enough to build a spaceship to take the entire content of the world away from the earth to live in a different solar system. It could happen, but personally I think that if we're going to survive the next few hundred years, we're going to have to evolve, and the most likely way of whatever we evolve into surviving is if we evolve into something which transcends matter, and personally I don't see that happening. So really, in a few hundred years, we're screwed. Then in a few million years, the Earth will be screwed. The sun will be okay though, it'll just be little different, and a little lonely.

A Pledge To A Best Friend.

I'd do anything for my friends. If you need a shoulder to cry on or hug or rant at then I'm there. I'll talk you out of stupid decisions and make up ridiculous examples of morals for advice using highly complicated plotlines and predefined characters, if that's what it takes to make you see sense. I'm always here to listen and give you whatever advice you need. I'll tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth whether you want to hear it or not, because it's highly likely that you'll need to hear it. I'll always do what I see best, and I'll force you to do what you need to do. I'll cheer you up in ways only a beat friend can; terribly, but effectively, kinda like a derp. You stopped me in the middle of a blog who I now can't continue, so I'm stuck doing this one but I'm not complaining. I sometimes feel like I know so well I could pick you out of a line up, blindfolded, and you know that I'm right because you know I'm nearly always right about these things. I'm always here for you, no matter what, and I promise this to you now.

But jeez, I've gotta get to sleep.

My Hands Smell Like Cheese and I Am EXCITED!

Those two things aren't linked, by the way. I tried goats cheese earlier and it tends to leave a strong scent which I really hope will be gone by morning.

We started a project today, 'Padfoot', 'Wormtail' and I, and it's incredibly exciting. I have no doubt that Wormtail doesn't know the point behind this, and we're not planning on telling anyone about this. Our plan has so many flaws but if this goes well, we could be living legends. Anonnymously. I can't really give details, but involves a lot of creativity in writing and thinking and creating and plotting and the lark. It's incredible, but I think we might actually manage this. Even if the plan doesn't work in the end, the end product will be a magical thing that we'll keep for eternity.

I just want to make it clear, the way I've said that makes it sound like it's a plan for a prank, which it definitely isn't. If anything, it's the complete opposite. We're doing good here. Very very good, and I'm proud to say I'm part of it. I daresay word will spread eventually of our plan, maybe in a year's time or so. And when it does, well, I can't wait.

Catching Up

It's been a good couple of days, to be honest. They've been going at a relatively slow pace, which I'm incredibly grateful for. It's been filled with good music (even if some of that was forced upon me during a lesson yesterday) and a lot of laughter. A little guilt, yes, a little angst, yes, and even a little sadness. But not a lot. I've gotten an exam out of the way, I'm all set for parents evening, and I'm just starting on my way to learning The Sound of Silence on the guitar, with my makeshift cappo(capo?) and untuned guitar. I really can't complain at all. I'd quite like a new book to be reading but I guess I can't have everything. I don't really want everything, I mean can you imagine how hard it would be to keep my bedroom tidy if I had everything in existence crammed i here? That would be ridiculous.

I feel like I should say something smart here...

Ah well.

The Big Question

I think I am now able to answer that age old question now that I am wise enough... I have pondered this since I heard it asked on Friends many many many years ago, and I must conclude my answer thus far.
I pick Garfunkel.

Proving The Point I Just Made.

Watch "Simon & Garfunkel - The Boxer - Madison Square Garden, NYC - 2009/10/29&30" on YouTube

These guys are life-long friends. They met when they were 11, and had their big break at 22. They were amazing back then and they're amazing now. People say that they used autotune in this concert, but they never have. They'very always favoured putting echoes on the mics and the rest is just pure talent, and that is why I admire them. You can tell by the look of pure enjoyment on Art's face that this is what he loves doing, and the same goes for Paul, who instantly slotted himself back into the life onstage, as he looks so at ease and relaxed here, perfectly content. They're amazing now, just as they were amazing back then. I qouod give anything to see them in concert.

This version of The Boxer is very different from the original studio recorded version, and I miss the cymbals crashes and the unique bridge that they changed to an opera singer, but this is perfect in its own way, and I still love it.

Proof That Just Because They're Old Doesn't Mean They've Lost Their Touch.

Watch "Simon and Garfunkle LIVE 2011" on YouTube

Incredible.

Moustaches!

Just look at this moustache! As a general rule, Paul Simon (pictured moustached) is not terribly attractive, but slap that particular moustache on him, and suddenly, well, it's a very good look for him. On the other hand, Art Garfunkel (pictured, afro-ed) is slightly more attractive. still not great, but not half bad. He doesn't look like he'd suit a moustache, though.  Art has more of a masculine yet relaxed aura about him and a good smile, which works in his favour for some people, and he definitely suits the 'fro, and I guess Paul suits the mad hair under a hat, too. I feel like I should point out that out of the two pictures on the CD case, Paul wears the same hat in both, with different outfits. I'm taking this information as a sign that the hat should not be removed, or else all hell would break loose. Who knows what he kept under that cap? In my opinion, in these images, Paul comes across as a rather sophisticated guy. Certainly in the front cover image, he has one of those smiles that just says "heyyy ;)" and it's pretty much the same on the back cover. He just seems to be flirting with a look! It's very disconcerting, because moustaches should not be sexy!
Simon and Garfunkel work well together in the visual aspect in the same way that they work together in vocal harmony. I'm not entirely sure how to phrase it, but they just seem to collaborate very well together. They've been friends since they were eleven and I don't know if it's just me, but it just seems obvious in this picture that they are close.
I've been obsessing over these for the past few hours, and I'm rediscovering them in a sense, not that I ever forgot about them, I'm just reading a lot more into their lyrics today and picking up on more of the details of the songs. I can confidently say that I can tell their voices apart, and I can't describe how much I love them. They are what proper music should sound like. Songs like The Boxer, Bridge Over Troubled Water and The Sound Of Silence to name but a few, they're just incredible. The harmonies are as beautiful as try lyrics, and the music is so powerful, I can't describe how much I love their music. Their voices are incredible. I could listen to them on loop for hours and hours, just the same album on repeat. Their songs vary so much; some make me happy, like Cecillia and Mrs Robinson, but then there are the complete contrast of those, like Scarborough Fair which has a deep hidden meaning that you'll only pick up on if you read the lyrics or listen very very very closely, and Bridge Over Troubled Water, which I'm not ashamed to admit, frequently makes me cry.
I don't want to ramble on for too long so I'm going to end this here, but hear me now, you have not heard the last of this fantastic duo.

I Miss You

I'm really bad at poetry,
As I'm sure you are aware,
What I think is good turns out like mulch,
It really isn't fair.
It was so many years to the day today,
It could be eight or seven,
That God put his hand down on the Earth
And took you up to heaven.
I cried and cried and cried that day,
Why did you have to go?
You were a beacon my life,
Set here to help me grow.
I'd never really thanked you,
Or told you how I thought
You were the kindest person,
A better Grandma I could not have saught.
I miss you like you wouldn't believe.
Even after all this time,
And I'm fairly sure in thirty years time,
The pain will still survive.
You taught me some valuable lessons,
The day you left the world,
To go and comfort the angels,
I'm assuming, from what I have uncurled.
The first is that every day,
I tell my parents I love them,
Because one day your loved ones are there,
But as you proved, I could very easily loose them.
The second holds the same meaning,
That the ones who I hold dear,
Might leave the house without saying goodbye,
Then suddenly disappear.
Your death raised insecurities in me,
Things of which I always live in fear,
And every time I think of you,
My eyes produce a tear.
I really love you Grandma.
And I'm sad you had to leave us,
But I know you're here in spirit,
Sending love from up above.

A Letter To a Friend Who's Driving Me Insane

To an outsider, the following letter may sound a little harsh. However, the person I'm aiming this at knows that I'm writing this for her, and believe me, it's necessary. 


Here goes.

I have no doubt that you love him. Hell, I love him, he's awesome, but I'm not in love with him, and I'd hazzard a guess that you're not either, you just think you are. The boundaries of where we define love and being in love are different with everyone, but I believe that nobody can really be in love unless they really know the person well, and I'm sorry, but even though you may think you do, you don't. In fact you're nowhere near.
You realise that after September, you're probably never going to talk to him again? I mean, you're hardly part of the same social group. Sure there's Facebook, but he doesn't really seem the type who chats with everyone, so unless there's some obscure social gathering where you happen to meet, it's not likely that you're ever going to. You barely even speak to him now, even if he starts the conversation!

Let's create a completely hypothetical situation where you don't lose contact with him, you talk to him fairly regularly and you consider each-other friends. You're still not going to get close to him, and certainly not close enough for anything to happen between you. It may sound harsh, but it's true; I don't think you're his "type".

I admit it, I love him on some small level. I'm no more his type than you are, and I've acknowledged that as I hope you have too, because at least I know where to draw the line. I know why you think you're in love with him. He tends to come up a lot in conversation and yes, your dreams have been a bit strange, and I see how that would be confusing for you. You really need to drop this though. I used to (briefly) think the way you did, but I controlled it. It took months to gain control over that part of my mind,  but I've managed it, and I know that you can do it too, you've just got to stop giving in! What are you going to do when you've lost contact with him? Mope around for years because you never told him that you were in love with him? I advise that you don't say that to him because it'll only end badly, but I also advise that you don't mope around thinking that you'll never meet anyone, as you said to me only a few hours ago. Not everyone meets the love of their life in school! In fact, it's shockingly rare, and it's stupid to hope really, but then I guess in that case almost everyone is stupid, myself included.

You want me to post this now, and so do I to be honest, even though I'm nowhere near done, so I'll leave you with this message, which I mean wholeheartedly and honestly in the nicest way possible... Grow up. You're an idiot. You're a derp. You're living in your head and you need to come back down to Earth, because it's really not that bad down here, and I want my happy friend back.

AND STOP SNIFFING YOUR SETTEE!

Volvo B9TL/Wrightbus Eclipse Gemini seating

The above title consists of the details of a type of bus. I spent about two hours getting to that, and it's still not exactly what I need. I didn't think it'd need this much research, but its for a future blog post, and I think I'll probably just do the manual research tomorrow morning instead of spending hours and hours tomorrow evening doing hopeless secondary research.
Yes, this is another short post, and I apologise for that, but I'm working on something. Seriously I am.

Just Realised...

I can't believe I've only just noticed that you can't spell stitches without itches. It makes so much sense now!

Losing Hope

I don't think I'm going to manage this task. I've lost sight of my love for blogging and it's becoming more of a chore unless I actually have anything interesting to say, which I usually don't. I'm too tired to even make this an interesting post, even though I know what I want to blog about today. It's just going to have to wait until tomorrow for now. I'm sorry that I can't keep this up. I'll go to the end of February with this schedule, but otherwise I'm uncertain about the future of this blog. I don't like it but that's life, I guess.

Astronomy and Mutations

The tides of the sea are caused by the gravitational pull of the moon. Because the brain is the most moist part of the body, it is pulled by the gravitational forces of the moon and disfigured, just as the tides are, causing a mutation. Ergo, the theory of werewolves is possible.

This was pointed out on the Stargazing Live, and I can't even explain how excited this made me, although if you know me at all, I'm sure you can guess. I'm unaware of how the full moon would make the transformation of a werewolf more likely, but I'm liking the theory.
I love astronomy. The stars, constallations and the planets, they are endlessly fascinating. I think that if I do well in A level physics, Astronomy could well be a career area for me. I could spend hours on my Google Sky Maps app, even indoors on a cloudy night, as I haven't had the chance to test it on a clear sky yet. Maybe I'll go camping on a full moon, and spend the evening stargazing. Actually, I now have a ridiculously large desire to do just that. If anyone fancies that, I have a tent and three-season sleeping bags. All I need now is a telescope.

Hm.

I'm going to go and consider my career choices.

hbzrygb.HkxsjbHhsaglSTgzujv ..cvhtsx.

I can't put what I'm thinking into words, or even coherent thoughts. I apologise for the lack of interesting posts recently but I don't have a clue what's going on in my head right now. I think I'm tired, stressed and overworked, my head hurts and i need to sleep. I wish I didn't need a shower right now because I'm so bloody tired, the pain in my ear is going beyond my pain barrier sometimes and I just need a night of full, uninterrupted, peaceful and dreamless sleep.

This is a...

Blog.

The Irritation of Time

This is yet another one of. Those times when one great event clashes with (several) other large events, even if it turns out that the first event wasn't as great as the first event, but it's still pretty damn epic.
I'm going to get the second event out of the way because I'm probably about to go on a rant about the first one.
The second event is exams. Horrible mind-crushingly painful exams. They require quite a lot of attention, which clashes with my first and most important event, the publishing of John Green's long awaited novel, The Fault in Our Stars.
I'm already very close to finishing it, having started reading at around six this evening, and I have read with many distractions up until around eleven. Five hours of not-quite-solid reading, and although I refuse to post spoilers, I've wanted to cry on multiple occasions already, and I have no doubt thy I will before the end of the novel. I'm nearly crying right now just thinking about it. I love all of John Green's books, not because he is a Nerdfighter, but because he is one of the most intelligent people I know of, and his books are more than amazing, they're awe-inspiring, and TFiOS is definitely some of his best work so far.
I do have one tiny issue with it, though.
Just a small thing...
A tiny little problem.
It's not John's fault at all, but when I pre-ordered my copy of TFiOS, I ordered it under the impression that I would be recieving a signed copy, as he promised over and over again that all pre-ordered copies of The Fault in Our Stars would be signed. In order to ensure that this happened, he had to sign 150,000 pieces of paper which were then bound as pages of the books. However, in order to make that happened, he also had to print copies of the books that WEREN'T signed. These are less common, but of course, everybody would prefer a signed book over an unsigned one, myself included. Unfortunately, when I arrived home from school this evening, extremely excited that the book I'd ordered months previously had arrived at last, I carefully tore open the Amazon packaging to reveal my long awaited (and extremely shiny) copy of TFiOS, imagine my horror to discover no wonderous mark of J-Scribble inside. My book had not been signed.
My first reaction was to search through the entire book, cover to cover, looking for J-Scribble's J-Scribble with shaking hands of desperation, but once I'd recovered from the shock to a large enough extent, I immediately pulled out my phone and went in search of @realjohngreen on twitter, where I found him to be tweeting about how overseas pre-order companies such as Amazon had screwed up, and hundreds of people had recieved unsigned copies.
I feel very sorry for him right now. He'd gone to so much effort (and given himself health problems) to ensure that 150,000 copies would be signed by him, and he's spent the past five months worrying and being reassured constantly that every pre-ordered copy would be signed, and all hell has broken out. He's trying to fix it, but he's out of the Great US Tour de Nerdfighting 2012 at the moment, so there's little he can do except aak everyone who recieved an unsigned pre-order to email their name, adress, and company they used to pre-order to sparksflyup (@) gmail (.) com.
He doesn't know how he'll fix it, and it may take a while, but my copy shall be signed.
In the meantime, I'm probably going to cry in school because it seems like a likely place for me to finish my book.

Last Minute Thinking

I'm a last minute thinker. I prefer to laze around and watch the world go by and then suddenly spring into action, rather than have it the other way around. I'm not entirely sure why this is but I guess I just lack motivation unless time is kicking me up the arse and telling me to go faster, and usually this works for me to a reasonable extent, but of course not always.

Reasons Samm is Going to the Prom

1. It's Prom
2. It's a tradition
3. There's only one of these in your life
4. You'll regret not going even if you don't want to now.
5. Really you will.
6. I look shit in dresses.
7. I look shit in makeup.
8. I look shit with my hair up.
9. Basically I look shit when I'm dressed up.
10. I'm going.
11. You look good in dresses, I've seen photos.
12. You look good dressed up.
13. I'm not sure if he will be there. He might not be, he doesn't seem like he would.
14. Even if he does go he'll be just as awkward and easy to avoid.
15. You'll enjoy it once you break the awkwardness barrier.
16. EVERYONE makes a fool of themself at Prom at some point, but never anything major.
17. I can guarantee I'll be the first to trip over my dress.
18. I'll need you to help me up.
19. Part of me doesn't want to see him either but still, I'm going, because I know that really do want him there.
20. It's going to be fun.
21. What isn't stupid?
22. It's not really goodbye, not at all. Merely farewell.
23. Popular kids make everything rubbish, it's nothing we don't deal with every day.
24. Watching the popular kids fight is funny as hell, which I guarentee will happen and you won't want to miss.
25. Nobody has money.
26. You don't need to have your photo taken. I'm not.
27. You SHALL NOT just sit there!! Oh we shall get you on yor feet and you WILL do the Macarena, the Time Warp and the food chain song.
28. And you WILL enjoy that.
29. Nobody can dance, it's part of the fun.
30. It's not boring.
31. Of course there's lots of people. It means that if. U don't wanna be seen by anyone but us, you won't be.
32. If you don't like eating in front of people, don't.
33. You won't be laughed at.
34. If anyone laughs at any of us we'll go ninja on their ass.
35. You'll only feel ridiculous if you look ridiculous and we won't let you out the house if you do.
36. Better a retard than a slag.
37. You don't have to say goodbye. Say au revoir.
38. Hello, LIMO!
39. The only time I've ever been in a limo was my Grandma's funeral. I'd like to have a pleasant experience in a limo.
40. You only live once.
41. I've put a lot of effort into this blog which I could I've used for revising. Don't let it be a waste.
42. If this was a waste, I will blame you.
43. If you refuse anymore we WILL force you out the door and into the limo.
44. You were just talking about going a few hours ago, and only doubted it when I said I didn't want to go.
45. You really do want to go.
46. It could be our last chance to be retards together for a long time!
47. You don't want to miss that.
48. If you don't come I'm not getting the flat with you and you'll go hungry because you fail at making cheese on toast.
49. You know I'm right.
50. I made 50 points. I win.

I'M GOING TO PASS TOMORROW.

A little bit of positive thinking there.
... Or reverse psychology.

Humiliation

I've under a lot of stress lately, mostly caused by the aftermath of the operation and worrying about exams. For those who don't know, after the operation, I spent a large amount of time knew bed, drugged up on pain medication and in no mood to revise. I'm partially regretting this now, in the sense that I really regret not being able to revise but I don't regret the pain meds in the slightest, because although I've stopped taking them on regular doses and just have them when I need them now, I'm still in quite a bit of pain sometimes, so yes, I really did need the pain medication. The inability to revise during that time was not something I'd previously anticipated. It's not just revising that I'm finding difficult even now, I'm struggling to speak coherent sentences or get my point across in any way shape or form, just in my day to day life. This really genuinely worries me, because for one thing I have exams all through the next month, but the most immediate one is this Friday, a French speaking exam which I've had far longer than anyone else to practice for, and yet I haven't been able to until these past few days. Obviously I attempted the revision, and I actually made some quite good notes and got a good start the evening before the operation, but now I'm starting to panic because although I think that I know the first few paragraphs, ish, I'm completely lost after that, and I still have to write my cuecard tomorrow.
I'm going to attempt to ignore the raging winds  outside now and try to sleep. I have a hospital appointment for my wrist first thing in the morning so I'm missing the first few hours of school, but unfortunately I don't get to choose my appointment time.

Changes

I'm going to get straight to the point. I've realised that I don't think I'll be able to manage blogging every single day for a year, even with my six days holiday, so I've decided that I'm going to restrict it to weekdays only. I mean that's not to say that I'm not going to blog at all on weekends, I'm just saying that I won't have to.
Instead of my previously stated schedule, my rules are as follows:
The seven days holidays are still in place, but I must state in advance when I'm going to use one. Yesterday counts as neither a holiday or a missed day because I hadn't decided on the actual rules yet, plus it is exam season.
Any day that I miss which has not been previously stated as a holiday requires a punishment to be set. These should be either humiliating or mildly disgusting, but not both and not dangerous. I have the power to reject punishment ideas. They must also be able to be filmed.
Days which are exempt from punishment without prebooked holidays are: up to two days before and including the day of an important exam, my birthday, important holidays, days on which or directly after I come into possessing of a new or long anticipated book or film, or in the unlikely event of death of me or a known person.
So there are quite a few changes there, and it might change again from this point on if it still doesn't work.

Thoughts From Places: Whitby

We're always told that family is the most important thing in the world, and that we should treasure every moment with them, and really that's one of the main things that my belief system consists of, among many other things. I love every member of my family, and my grandparents ae no exception. I guess now that I've lost two of them I've grown a lot more attatched to the two remaining. That fact is really the only reason that at twenty past nine this morning I found myself squished on the back seat of our car between my Nan and my Grandad, my phone in my lap and a folder full of revision tools placed awkwardly between my legs, which I didn't end up using at all on either of the journeys.
I woke up this morning to the sound of mum threatening to leave me behind if I didn't get up soon, because she intended to leave in less than half an hour. After two minutes of pointless arguing we establihed that she'd come in twice previously to wake me, and I'd spoken to her in some way, but I had no memory of this at all. This had, apparently happened before, and I think she accepted it better this time, which I'm incredibly grateful for. Eventually I dragged myself out of bed an got dressed, while still being shouted at for not going fast enough. It irritates me beyond belief when my dad feels the need to shout me from downstairs to tell me to get up, when in actual fact he has no idea that I'm already dressed. Mum then came in to steal some of my CDs, which admittedly I borrowed from her a while back. I hadn't even listened to all of them because for some reason my docking station/FD player was taken downstairs for Christmas where it promptly stopped working. Again, mum began to shout at me that I'd lost her Simon and Garfunkel CD because it wasn't in the case and she'll never let me borrow her CDs again etc. which we go through every few weeks, and I always find it in it's case within two minutes. However, I really hadn't seen the Simon and Garfunkel CD, it was one of the few that I hadn't gotten around to listening to. She still doesn't believe me. Paul Simon, for the record, had/has an amazing moustache. I mean really, it's incredible, but I don't know if he still has it. I hope so.
I deeply considered staying at home today. I knew that staying home to revise would certainly be a wise thing to do, but that I'd regret not going, and I'd probably waste most of the day anyway if I stayed. I tried to get mum to convice ke otherwise, but she understood that I'd want to go with them from about ten minutes after they left, if that. At this point going seemed to be the logical thing to do, and so I went.
We were out the door on time despite yet anoher debacle over where the car keys were, which turned out to be in my Grandad's car for some reason that none of us can quite work out.
The journey was long, but it gave me time to think. What I was doing with my life, why I wasn't revising (conclusion: I'm lazy), what I was going to blog about, and why The Pogues are so damn good? I nearly fell asleep in the last ten minutes, stress on the word 'nearly' because as I am now fully aware, I cannot sleep when I'm moving or when it's light, so I've got no chance in a car.
I love Whitby. I love its history and the beautiful old streets, the quirky shops and the people to go with it, but of course like everything, I found flaws in it. The first thing that irritated me about Whitby today was the fact that it was so cold. Apparently it was reasonably warm at home, but no matter what time of year you go, it is ALWAYS incredibly cold, except for the area direcly outside the kipper smoking house, which radiates not only warmth but the most delicious smell of smoked kippers.
Whitby is of course famous for being the town in which Bram Stoker wrote Dracula, and so it features quite a lot of vampire memoribillia and creates a gothic atmosphere which appeals to me for reasons I can't quite explain. Part of the character of the town is also given by the buskers situated in various places on the street. For example, today there was a man stood on a corner playing the accordion and singing Irish shanties. He had vast and obvious talent, and his music was brilliant, or at least to me because as I have mentioned, I love Irish music. Unfortunately the most noticable thing about the talented musician was that attatched to his belt, on a long wooden pole, he had suspended a marrionette, of about the size of a two year-old child, which quite honestly freaked me out. I couldn't tell whether the face was made out of china or wood, but it was creepy with huge, staring eyes and a fixed smile. I suspect that it was wood but I didn't really want to look close enough to tell. It, or rather she, was wearing an old style grey dress, which had been sewn to the wooden hands to give the impression that she was holding her dress up to dance, revealing creepy little wooden legs that had a mind of their own. When I first saw the puppet from a distance, I admired it and the man's act. However when we had to walk past it, I started to notice all of these little weird characteristics, and how they contrasted with the man operating it, who seemed like a nice enough person. Eventually I was forced to come to the conclusion that if you give any normal looking person a creepy marrionette, they instantly also become creepy.
For the record, I don't like bridges, piers or boats. Basically anything suspended over water where there tends to be high winds. I refused to go on the boat like always, and we got halfway down the wooden half of the pier before I claimed that my ear was freezing, which to be fair it was, I just also didn't want to go any further. I used to argue about the bridge but there's really no point anymore, I always lost that argument.
I'm glad I went today. I spent time wih family, I realised a fear of creepy old puppets, and in the end, I still didn't get a lot of revision done.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Let the 2012 blogging challenge commence. 

My new years resolutions? 

• Work harder in school.
• Keep up with the blogs
• Learn all the words to Auld Lang Syne 
• Be more tolerant of those who irritate me. 

Revising and Excuses

I'm not great at revising. If anything I'm really quite bad at it. Focusing on one thing and trying to remember it, there's just something in my head that thinks of that and goes "NOOO! NO! No, I refuse to focus. Look, a pigeon! Ooh, isn't that pencil interesting. Oh! Think how many things you could do with those post-it notes!" or "Yeah, I'll revise in a minute, after I read this," and I never do get any revision done. Then I get to school, get into the exam and think "hmm, I'm pretty sure the answer isn't  pencil, post-it note or pigeon."
Of course I can make excuses but they never work when somebody asks and they certainly won't get you through an exam.

New Challenge

Okay, so I think I have some explaining to do. My blogs this week have been more than a little irregular, and I don't really have any decent excuses other than christmas and just forgetting to blog, which is a shame because I was doing so well with the blog every day in December thing. This brings me on very nicely to my purpose of this particular post, which is that I have decided to set myself a new challenge.
Starting o New Years Day, I will be starting a project of blogging every day in 2012, although to make it managable, it won't be every day. I'm going to be allowing myself a set number of holidays for the year on which I wouldn't need to blog. This should cover the events of illness, memory malfunction and insufficient equipment for blogging.
My theory is this: there are 365 days in this coming year. It would be unreasonable to expect a blog on every one of those days. I considered. just making this a weekday thing, which would allow me 104 days of not having to blog (52 weeks in a year, two days of each of those weeks) but that just seems like a very long time to not have to blog, plus the holidays which I will still certainly require.
I think it would be fair to allow myself a week of holidays for the year. That is seven days which could be taken consecutively or randomly throughout the year on which I could take a guilt free day away from blogging and then return with little or no explanation needed. If at any point I exceed my days of holidays, I will allow my friends to challenge me to do something as a punishment which I will then video and blog.
To make this period of consistent blogging more interesting and manageable, I'll be accepting challenges just like I have been doing for the past few weeks. I'll need challenges every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Now also I'm considering making this blog more public than it already is. I'll start using the tagging words system and sharing interesting posts on my HP Facebook page, where I have an audience of about 400 people who I have never met and yet share an interest in the magical world, hence why they like my page. This should help me to obtain a slightly wider audience, as I'm not expecting a lot of people from the page to actually pay any attention to me and start reading this, but I know for certain that a few will because they seem to like me.
Some of mg posts may be in video form, like a vlog, which is going to be an interesting experience for me but its something I've always wanted to try, and I think I might finally give it a go.
So, as a final summation, I will make a blog post every day of 2012 with the exception of seven days. Challenges every Monday, Wednesday and Friday and punishments after the 8th day that I don't blog. Don't forget to be awesome, and I'm gone.

Discovering

What you're seeing before you is me, working out how to use my facetime camera, and also bding extremely pleased with my headband, which I'm really starting to think suits me more than I thought it would, but I'll let you make your own decision on that.
I just discovered the speech recognition thing and it actually works, to an extent. its name is jesus god I can't think of me.
That last sentence was supposed to say "It's moments like these that I'm glad I can speak properly," which I'm guessing just backfired because that really didn't work.

New Head

It feels good to be finally rid of the bandages, and I'm perfectly happy with the results of my ear, but that doesn't mean I like looking at it. It's still painful to the touch and it's discoloured and swolen, it's numb in some and bruised in the rest.
Still, no bandages.

Merry Christmas, Sexy.

Yeah, that's really all I wanted to say. I was planning on doing a blog challenge and stuff, but then of course stuff happened as it always does, and I wrote a Christmas Harry Potter fanfiction instead. Well, no, I've been writing it for three days, I edited it tonight, with a lot of help from the most wonderful person ever, Iymea, who is not only a second-to-none beta, but also so dedicated that she took time out of her busy family Christmas Eve to help me make my chapter of reasonably readable quality, which it definitely is now.
I don't know if I'll blog tomorrow. I probably will, describing the wonders of whatever I get.
So yeah, merry Christmas. :) xx

Blog Challenge Four: Christmas

I don't like it when people say that they spend Christmas alone, because for me Christmas means family. It's not about the presents or the food (although I certainly enjoy both of those aspects), it's about 'peace and goodwill to all men', which I interpret as spending time with the ones you love and putting up with the ones you don't, because it's Christmas. Unfortunately everybody seems to have forgotten this over time, leaving everyone hungry for presents, selfishness and every other material thing you could wish for, and of course I include myself in this.
I love Christmas. All of the tinsel and the lights, the Christmas tree and everyone is generally in a better mood, it's impossible not to be happy. I'm not going to pretend to fully understand why someone wouldn't like Christmas or would choose to spend it alone, but I guess that if you are forced to spend it alone, then I can see how that wouldn't be very enjoyable. It isn't, after all, a holiday for solitude. Even something as symbolic as a Christmas cracker requires a second person to pull it with and listen to the terrible jokes.

This video pretty much sums up what I hope Christmas is never like for me. It's called Misery Christmas and it's hilarious in a sad kind of way.

Blog Challenge Three: Mushroom or Llama?

Would I rather be a mushroom or a llama? Again, I think we need to establish the definition of 'be', which in this case I'm assuming would be my mind in a different body.
Well for one thing, mushrooms don't have brains or lives, so I'm assuming that being a mushroom would be pretty boring. Even if I had a face I still wouldn't be able to go anywhere, and if anybody saw me, they'd probably stand on me which would be a pretty painful way to go, and that's assuming that I'm a wild mushroom, and not an edible one. Edible ones have to be harvested and then shoved into boxes for days, and then they sit in a shop until someone takes them home, chops them up, cooks them and eats them. I don't know at which stage I'd die but none of it seems like a particularly enjoyable experience.
Now being a llama would be much more preferrable. They have lives, the ability to move, they won't get lonely and if someone stands on them they won't be squished and they can fight back. They spit at people, which to be honest I can't imagine myself doing a lot of. The conditions they live in aren't great but I'd rather live in squallor than be a mushroom. Also, llamas are awesome. Obviously I'd prefer to be human but forced to make a choice, I'm going with the llama.

Catch Up

Well, isn't this nice? Let's sit down for a virtual cup of tea and a chat... Wow that was cheesy. I mean even for me, that was really really cheesy. Ugh.

Here's a few visual representations of my life.

 A knee discovers the joys of Christmas and reindeer antlers.

 A helmeted madman with a suspiciously shiny moustache appeared in my bedoroom. O.o

And a zebra fell from a great hight but thankfully, is still stuffed.










That's my life, thank you and goodnight.